Hello

hi

So sorry to read your story and I so much wish I could say it was one I had not seen before.

If we look at Your feelings when someone has cancer we can see how common your emotions are. Of course add to that your concerns about your daughters who may themselves be trying not to add to your own worries. It might help there to look at Talking to children and teenagers and it can be very helpful if they are in school/college to obtain some support there. 

No need to apologise on here though, we have all been in similar situations to you and we "get it" - indeed thank you for posting because some never get over the hurdle of reaching out and together we can all help if only to feel less alone.

<<hugs>>

Steve

Hi Emma, I completely understand how you feel. I feel almost exactly the same. Mum has lung cancer diagnosed this year snd we were on a treatment pathway. Last sat she collapsed at home snd she is now paralysed from the waist down ….. her tumour has grown onto her spinal cord. The radiotherapy hadn’t worked snd there are no longer any treatment options. She has only a couple of months at best . I am absolutely devastated. My heart feels like it’s been ripped out. I feel sick all day snd I have episodes of rising panic in my chest when I don’t know what to do . My husband says I need help, but I don’t really know what to do . My mum is being extremely brave . I feel angry that all my hopes snd dreams of making new memories have been taken away. If anyone has any ideas of what I should do … what I can do so that I don’t regret a single minute of the time I have left with her …. . 
please message me if you need to talk more xx

Thank you for your kind words and ideas of support. It is truly appreciated during such a difficult time. 

I am so sorry to hear that you’re also going through such a distressing time as well. 
I am having such a range of emotions from sadness, anger, numbness and also complete denial just hoping that somehow they have got it wrong. It is so hard as she doesn’t look ‘sick’ she is still talking and with support able to move around. I just don’t understand how she can only have a few weeks left. Like you the hardest part is coming to the reality that we have been robbed of making new memories and the fact that she isn’t going to be able to watch my girls grow up. 
I have decided to seek some private therapy to help me come to terms with what is happening and to help me process the grief. It has really helped me and mum to talk about all the fantastic times we have had together. Also, looking through old photo albums. I think they hardest part of having such little time for me is having to leave the hospital as I just want to spend every minute with her. Just remember that during all of this be kind to yourself. X 

Thanks Emma …. Yes ! Me too. I went back x 2 when I was leaving , just to delay it . … take date , speak soon xx

Hello Emma and I hope your mum is having a calm and smooth day! I can totally relate to all of your feelings. Our only difference is that instead of my mum it is my dad. My best friend, my rock, my teacher, I am also feeling devastated. I decided to go to a psychotherapist/psychiatrist to get any help possible as I know we are heading for a difficult time ahead. This is what I decided, as I was noticing the symptoms of depression hanging over me, and I've been there before. And this time, I cannot show my feelings to their totality in front of my father, it is like I have to wear a positive mask, in front of a terrified and broken face. Hang in there dear Emma, and I wish your beloved mum to be painless and to have all of her loved ones around her, that is what we can do and must try. Hugs to you!

Hi Emma , how is your mum ? Are you getting support yourself ? If you are working are your work being supportive? Sending you big hugs and love . With my mum I’m even beginning to think about spirituality… what happens after my mum is gone. Told her to give me signs etc. I think I’m going mad/ clutching at straws etc. Just don’t want to ever have to let go of her . Xx

Hugs to you too Fi 21, best wishes for serene and pain free days. I can totally relate to y our feelings. I feel that I have found brothers and sisters in this forum, since we are sharing so much in each one's unique but at the same time, common road. Hang in there! xx

Thank you Margia88…. I feel in control one minute and a blabbering baby the next , complete inconsolable the next. I’m tasked to tell her friends and distant relatives what’s going on…. Hardest thing ever. Actually it doesn’t seem real. I dream of her at night snd when I wake up I get a huge punch in the stomach to remind me it’s real . . I wish I could rewind the clock 10 years xx