I’m a Mess, I can’t stop crying, I cant sleep, I feel sick.
My best friends has been in pain for soo long (months) and has been severely let down by our NHS because now they have actually found the problem after showing up at the hospital yet again as she could not cope with the pain any longer.
Findings:
On Friday (tea time) she was told she had cancer of the liver, on Saturday she also had lung cancer, and on Sunday it was also in the bones, with more tests needed.
OMG…….
No one can go to see her…. I’m gutted, my heart is broken, why did it take sooooo long. All that pain….. She has lost time, time she needed to say goodbye and put her life in order.
She is soo strong and making lists, what support am I… I just cry. I want to be strong but I cant say her name without choking on my own tears, I’m a blubbering mess.
I can’t imaging a life without her, she was my rock, my confidant, my shopping buddy, my drinking buddy, my dancing partner, my cocktail shaker, the person who gave me a kick up the butt when needed, who was there for me regardless, we went weekends everywhere…. Holidays. We had plans, many plans, and now she is planning her own funeral…. OMG what am I gonna do, how can I help her….. I need to stop crying and be there for HER….
Hi and welcome to the community and to our life with a friend who has cancer. All the symptoms you list are really very common symptoms of stress and can totally relate to the feelings of being let down - my wife's case was - difficult.
Dealing with stress is difficult and the lack of sleep rapidly contributes to us being ill. It might be helpful to talk to your GP - though recently my GP prescribed eco-therapy as he was not keen to prescribe me any more drugs (I rattle already!).
What tends to make me cry most often is the very special care some special friends supported us when my wife was massively ill. Nowdays though I have made peace with crying that I tend to view as my love overflowing.
Some of my friends look as us and call us inspirational - well I never wanted to be inspirational. They ask "how to we cope?" and the only real answer is what is the alternative.
Hope some of that helps - it seems a little random to me. There are some tips in Your feelings when someone has cancer that perhaps help to show us how "normal" we are - once anyone works out what normal is anyway.
<<hugs>>
Steve
