This is the last place I wanted to be, but I feel like I have no where else to turn. Last January my mum was told that she had stage 4 lung cancer done the immunotherapy but that didn't work so she decided that she was not doing chemo that she was going to carry on like she just had not been given the news, Whatever she was doing seemed to be working for her for a good while when I would phone or call down she was always doing something never sat on her butt. Long story short a few months ago she was taken into hospital as she was having trouble breathing where she suddenly started having anxiety attacks she has never had them before in her life she was in hospital this time for just a few days until they got her breathing back to normal but we were led to believe the cancer had travelled if that is the right thing to say to her liver but we have not been told anything else as her wishes are that the drs tell us nothing as she does not want us worrying and then her having to worry about us worrying about her. After she got out of hospital she went back to doing what she could even pushing herself and then she started complaining of feeling like her ribs were broke and finding it hard to breathe and going upstairs. This again resulted with her ending up back in hospital for the 2nd time in a matter of weeks and she led us all to believe it was her ribs until a family member heard by accident that she had fractures in her spine my 1st thoughts when heard this was that cancer had spread to the bones but was told that I was wrong by my mum but just had that nagging feeling, one week after being let out of the hospital for the 2nd time she was back in for a further 2 weeks and now she is at home in a hospital bed with a driver connected to her and oxygen 24hrs and also a catheter. In such a short period of time she has went from being up at the scrape of dawn doing her housework and hanging washing out to being bed bound not eating because she is afraid of choking and the amount of weight she has lost is scary. Sorry for all the rambling I have not told anyone this as I am trying to be strong. I don't live near my mum and my siblings do and I feel like they know more than they are telling me to like punish me for not being there all the time but I have 2 small kids and I can't leave them or take them with me as I am trying to protect them from all this so when I can get to see mum I go but all she seems to do is sleep and I don't want her to try and stay awake just because I am there. My main concern is that this is the beginning of the end and I am being kept in the dark my heart is breaking as I just don't know what to do!!!!!!
Hi
Sorry to hear about what you are going through, from what you write I wonder if people might be trying to somehow "protect" you - and it sucks. I know some of my friends can avoid telling me things that might concern me but do not seem to realise that when I find out it can end up hurting even more.
It might help to look at Emotional support for family and friends as I am sure there will be some wisdom in there that might help.
No need to apologise on here though, we have all a big story to tell and together we will survive, that "I have to be strong" bit - I just wish is was as easy to do as it is to write.
<<hugs>>
Steve
