Struggling

Hi

Sorry to read your story and the impact this has had on you. It is not totally uncommon for people to push even partners away. I am guessing from you talking about "everyone says just be patient" that she is not cut off from everybody.

Hard to know what the future might hold for her or for you but you might like to look at Your feelings when someone has cancer where there are some tips that might help you work through your feelings.

<<hugs>>

Steve

It’s so difficult. My dad who revived a terminal diagnosis became very irritable with me for a period of time. I suppose he was angry about what was happening to him and as somebody close to him he could let that anger out by directing it at me and all the things I was doing ‘wrong’. I can’t imagine the fear, the loss of control and everything that goes with receiving a terminal diagnosis. In any other relationship of course you would not tolerate this but I knew deep down this wasn’t about me. I tried to let it go over my head but I did break down crying in front of him once as I was trying my best and was constantly criticised. He apologised and felt so bad that he was being that way to me, he was just angry as he very well deserves to be. I stuck with him and continued to support him and this phase of his emotional processing of the illness passed and we are closer together.

Keep hanging in there and be pleased that she does not have to put on a front with you, that she can let out her anger, even if it is misdirected 

I'm so sorry this is happening to her and you. I am going through really similar with my hubby at the moment, and it's really hard not to be hurt by it. You can either choose to ignore it and carry on being there with her, or support her from afar. She is probably lashing out. My hubby hates to talk about his cancer. What about sending her a few tokens, such as a nice postcard, random small purchase that makes you think of her, stuff like that, with a no pressure greeting. Then she will know you are there still for her. 

Xxx