Hi all, so glad to have found a safe place to share my overwhelming emotions, just a shame it’s in such horrid circumstances.
A couple of months ago my dad 56, felt a little under the weather and started becoming breathless after walking a short distance that was soon accompanied by some pain under his rib.
After going sick at work, ambulance call outs, CT scans, lung drains, hospital admissions, biopsy, losing 2 stone in weight, has almost zero quality of life etc we were told about 10 days ago that he has incurable kidney cancer that has spread to the lymph node and lung lining.
After my dad pushed, they reluctantly advised the computer estimates 7-8 months but obviously that depends on how he responds to palliative treatment.
He had 5 days radiotherapy last week, and the consultant had said he will discuss potential chemo treatment at the next appointment next week but he had to have a blood test today to check on haemoglobin as they were low when last tested. He might need a blood transfusion before they can offer any thing else and after reading up on it, he seems reluctant to take the chemo as it might make him feel worse than he does now.
Im struggling to cope, I live with my parents, my husband and our children, so we’re watching him deteriorate every day. It’s heart breaking. He cries a lot too, it’s just so overwhelming he can’t deal with it either. We’re trying to keep positive and trying to keep encouraging him to fight this as hard as he can, but I’m finding it so hard and I really am struggling.
I’m so scared for a future without my dad in it, my family mean so much to me and whilst I know I need to be as strong as I can for my kids, I just don’t know if I can get through this.
Sorry for the essay, thank you for letting me rant, and will gratefully receive any advice anyone may have for me :) x
