Hi there my name is Janet I'm a full time carer for my husband who has dementia for 12 years and now he has just been diagnosed with terminal neck cancer and was told he only has 6 months left to live.
I really am at the end of my tether I'm already exhausted and now this bombshell.
I was wondering if anyone has been in the same kind of position as me ?
Any advice would be really good many thanks
Hi
Sorry to read about your husband and how you have been caring for him for so long. Any cancer diagnosis is a shock but to come on top of the dementia and the care you have been giving for so long I can only imagine.
Does he have a needs assessment from the local council, and do you have a carers assessment too? If not it would be good to get this sorted as quickly as possible because one thing I know I learned the hard was was the importance of caring tor ourselves.
My wife never wanted a prognosis and I really struggled with that but it is worth remembering it is at best a guess based on averages and does not come with a guarantee.
Have you been referred to your local hospice? Many make a very holistic service offer including looking after you and making sure you have the support you need.
With the dementia I am sure you will have already be in touch with e.g. dementia uk and given how common cancer is I am sure they will have some advice too.
Hope some of that helps - and good luck!
<<hugs>>
Steve
Hi Janet,
You are very welcome, hopefully it gives you some ideas that you can talk through on Tuesday. If you need a quick fix too remember you are welcome to ring the helpline here 0808 808 0000 if is open 8am-8pm 7 days a week and can often help with the "question I forgot to ask" sort of questions. Of course nothing is a substitute to talking to the oncology team but it can be a great support for when we struggle - and we all struggle at times. I have certainly cried at the support line before now and sometimes that can actually be quite helpful to let out some of our fears to a complete stranger.
<<hugs>>
Steve
