My dad passed away four months ago from cancer that spread rapidly and it really knocked me for six as we were so close I didn’t leave his side at appointments and things now my girlfriend has been diagnosed with stage 3 cancer.
just need some advice on how to support her and help her whilst also looking after myself
Hi @marthajane,
Welcome to the community but so sorry to hear about your dad and your girlfriend. The most obvious point I guess is that no two cancer stories are the same so what happened to your father is likely to be rather different to what happens now.
I know when my father died I struggled for some time, there is no right or wrong answer to dealing with grief and sometimes other things can get in our way when we need some time to ourselves.
In terms of how to support you if might be helpful to look at Your feelings when someone has cancer. When I first found some support from complete strangers who I felt comfortable being totally honest with it was such a relief - often friends mean well but I certainly did not always feel comfortable sharing my darkest fears.
I did a living with less stress course that really helped me. I was living in a world of pre-grief and that stopped me appreciating what I have. The conscious breathing exercises were great too for when life throws us curveballs that nobody expected. Transcendental meditation though just made me laugh.
Often people on here talk about needing to be a little bit selfish - we do need to make time for ourselves and it is perhaps worth noting many cancer patients biggest wish is to be treated normally.
<<hugs>>
Steve
