Hello,
So I found out last week that my gran has stage 4 stomach cancer. Honestly I don't know what else to say. She's always been there for me in my life and right now I am 5 hours away at university trying to finish my PhD. She doesn't want me to come visit because she doesn't want to interrupt my studies but at the same time I know things aren't going well for her at the moment.
I am very worried because she's struggling as are the rest of my family and they are getting stressed at her for not eating or drinking and everyone is venting it all at me at the moment. Whereas I am trying to be as supportive and encouraging to her as possible but also never get to talk to her alone as to gauge how she is actually doing. I also really don't want to lose here but at the same time don't want her to feel forced to fight if she doesn't want to. Plus my family is not big on mental health and while I am trying to argue for her to be allowed to see once of the mental health nurses provided for her it's just like hitting a brick wall with the people who are actually there at home to oversee her care/support.
Honestly everything is a lot right now and I am just entirely unsure about what to do.
Sorry for the rant but yeah, if anyone has been/is going through something similar and has any support or advice they can give on how to deal with all of this I would be eternally greatful.
Hi ,
In some ways I am about as far away from you as it can be as I now approach retirement but I can reflect on when my mum was ill when my son was born I feel I can relate to your feelings.
One thing I do know is that your university will have a student support service who are very much there to help you. I am sure to your gran will be massively proud of what you are doing. I am sure she would like to hear about how you are doing.
It sounds like your gran has a group around her and from how you talk about her I am sure she will be making all the decisions - that can be really hard if there are decisions we do not agree with as we can see in Looking after someone with cancer - it might be some of the rest of your family might find that useful too.
<<hugs>>
Steve
