Hi there
My mother in law has Squamous cell carcinoma but has told doctors she doesn't want to know how long she has left or even if it's curable, she has has chemotherapy immunotherapy and radiotherapy and has just spent 2 weeks in hospital but isn't getting any better she is now having carers go in daily to help my father in law and has had a hospital bed in her living room she can't really do anything and is barely drinking and is meant to be having meal supplements but can only manage 2 or 3 cutting to the question one of her sons live in America and we are in the UK and he wants me to ask her nurses if he should come home now or not but does anyone know if they would be able to answer that question?
Many thanks
Gemma
Hi
Sorry to hear about your mother in law and the issues it is causing. My wife also never wanted a diagnosis and I struggled with that but over six years down the line I came to realise what use would a prognosis have been to us. One thing I am very sure of is my wife's oncologist is surprised/shocked at how remarkably well she had done - well perhaps except for the six collapsed lungs she has had as a result of the first lot of chemotherapy.
I could talk about the health of my parents - or I could write a book about it, but I don't know that will really help. While you probably could ask her nurse I wonder what they could tell you - probably they might just point you to the cancer research web pages that talk about average survival rates/cure rates but then when was anyone "average".
Should her children in America come and visit - well what would your mother in law think. I have seen messages before now saying "come and see me while I live rather than come to my funeral" - who knows what the "right" answer is.
My dad died after a very long illness, my mum totally out of the blue both back in 2013, still miss them both but know they would be pleased to see me now - their living legacy.
<<hugs>>
Steve
