Hi all,
I feel like my whole world is crashing down. I've been lucky in life being blessed with my lovely parents and now the most horrible thing is happening. In the last month we found out that my dad has multiple tumors so the prognosis is not good. We are all in complete shock, it doesn't feel like this can be happening.
My very capable, energetic, positive dad is so tired but bravely being so very practical for my mum, who is desperately worried. They literally do everything together so it is so very scary the prospect of her being alone and I'm not sure how she will cope. I know that they are grateful for the time they have had together, they know they are lucky, but I just wish I could help them both in some way...they are so so brave, but they have always just relied on each other for support. Talking with others about their feelings is not something either would think to seek out unless meeting ithers by chance....but I think it might help. Just so hard with covid - are support centres open/ expected to open? Anything else anyone can suggest?
Thank you xx
Hi , it is not al all uncommon for the "patient" to be seen as coping and the "carer" - no so much. Sometimes the carer can be looking in to how they will cope in the future without their other half - I know I did.
My first port of call - some years ago now - was our local Maggie's. They are open at the moment but only by appointment. One of the plus points of talking to a complete stranger can be a way of vocalising our deepest thoughts that might be too difficult to share with family or freinds.
I did a living with less stress course that helped be focus on what we have rather than the state of pre-grief of how I would cope in this future I could not control. The breathing exercises were also great for coping when something came at us out of the blue.
The biggest help most of us can be is by listening and sometimes people just want to be treated as normally as possible and other times people might want to talk about their cancer - do post on here though or ring our helpline so that you are not alone.
<<hugs>>
Steve
