My mum has recently been diagnosed with cancer. I've always been really close to my parents but my two sisters have mainly kept their distance and caused a fair few dramas for my folks over the years which has meant I don't speak to them. Because my younger sister lives alone and has her own mental health problems she has been a COVID bubble with my parents. This has been difficult for my as it's meant I have been unable to see my parents and have gone for seeing them every day to seeing them through the window once a week. My mum has just started treatment and they've told me that my younger sister will be in their support bubble and will be doing all the driving to and from the hospital. At the risk of sounding selfish I'm completely devastated and feel excluded. I want to help my mum and support them and my das has asked me to keep my distance to keep my mum safe. I understand why but I'm heartbroken to be pushed out. They've made me feel like I'm a bit of a busy body but I just want to help.
All I hear now is how amazing my little sister is and it hurts. She also has regular episodes of self harm and I'm worried that she will have one of her many meltdowns whilst they are relying on her and they become carers for her again. Mum has surgery next week and then chemo in the coming months.
I feel selfish and spoilt but I just want my parents to have good support and I want to look after them 
Is it normal to feel excluded?
Hi
sorry to hear about your mum and the effect is is having on you and your family. Covid has made life difficult for everyone and add cancer in to the mix makes if more difficult than ever.
I would not say you sound selfish but on the other hand it sounds like your sister is managing to cope and that is likely to be really good for her and something your mum might want to encourage.
I wonder if it might help you to talk through things with one of the staff on the helpline here 0800 808 0000 and perhaps together come up with a plan that might work for everyone. I know counsellors have helped be in the past even it it seemed I spent more time crying than anything else.
As for you feeling excluded - it is the most normal feeling in the world.
<<hugs>>
Steve
