Hi everyone
I just wondered if anyone has any ideas on how best to support my mum, and also myself through her recent diagnosis? I'm feeling unbelievably stressed and anxious.
My mum has recently been diagnoses with lung cancer - she called 999 after being in a lot of pain, and experiencing some breathlessness. She was taken in 2 weeks ago, and they obviously did the CT scans etc. She has now been moved to another hospital to have a first few sessions of radiotherapy, has had some medication and now seems to have made some early signs of improvement so far which I am hugely grateful for. She is then going to be transferred back to the original hospital to have some further scans to investigate what difference the initial sessions of radiotherapy have made to her and then make a call on her full treatment plan/diagnosis. Given her improvement, after this second set of scans, she will probably be able to come home.
I feel utterly devastated, and I just wonder if anyone has any tips on how to best support her when she's back at home? I also wondered if anyone has any tips on the part in the middle that just feels like limbo with no definitive plans, just a lot of waiting around? I am just feeling such a range of emotions, and trying to keep my spirts up for the sake of my mum, because she's being SO brave and positive but I am just so, so worried
thanks! x
Hi @kate2021,
sorry to hear about your mum and can very much relate to both your want to support her and recognizing that we need help too - recognizing that is often a very important step in helping to make sure we are ready when support is needed and you can see if you look at Looking after someone with cancer you will see you are far from alone.
The waiting time planning treatment is hard, especially when we get told early treatment is really important - that message is reinforced so often since often people go in to denial and will not even speak to their GP - your mum is past this point and the doctors are now planning the best treatment for her.
There are times with my wife that no matter what I did the tears just came out - one thing that really annoys her though is if someone says she is brave and she will retort "I was not given a choice".
We try to live our lives as normally as possible and fortunately the only real impact now is the occasional appointments with the oncology team . We all need somewhere to let our emotions out though and the community can be a real safe space for that, especially another group here where we can share some of the deeper emotional impacts without concern of the impact it might have on our loved ones who have the cancer. I know there are some decisions my wife made that had a significant impact on me - she was right mind you as I learnt later but it did not feel like the best idea at the time.
I hope your mum gets some more news soon and I am sure she is both proud of you and happy to have your support, just remember to look after yourself too.
<<hugs>>
Steve
Hi @toot22 I think the final diagnosis was 2012 but they had suspected cancer for some time - to the extent that they mostly ignored the pyometra. The cancer is incurable, at least currently, however chemotherapy has rendered it stable and she is is good health.
One of the great things on here we do get to hear stories of people who have been cured - and we celebrate every single one and like Janice who are living with cancer but not going to let that stop them.
It turned out at my mothers autospy they found cancer though that was not what killed her in the end as it seemed more like a broken heart after my father died - either that or she just wanted the last word.
One quote I quite like is "Worrying Does Not Take Away Tomorrow's Troubles, It Takes Away Today's Peace"
<<hugs>>
Steve
