Hello,
I suppose I'm just here to put some thoughts down somewhere where other people may understand. Our situation feels so ridiculous at times.
Both my parents have cancer and are currently very unwell. My Mum has secondary breast cancers that have recently progressed further and my Dad has secondary Bowel cancers and is currently on palliative chemo (although paused as he is not strong enough at the moment for his treatment.)
They were divorced when I was very young and my Dad is fortunately well cared for by my step mother, but due to Covid I haven't been able to see him since the beginning of 2020 (he lives a distance away). My Mum has no partner and relies heavily on my sister and I for support - which we do not hesitate to give and are more than happy to provide. I see her regularly as until recently she has been looking after my children, but is now at a stage where that is no longer possible, which makes me feel really sad.
I have young children and am working so have good distractions in a way, but all of a sudden my Mum in particular seems very poorly and although she's been having treatment for secondary cancer for nearly 5 years it now all seems very real and that our time is limited.
At the moment I'm struggling to find ways to deal with the roller-coaster of emotions, as each time we think there is a positive step forward with the next breath we are heading back and in a worse position than before.
I suppose I am just putting some thoughts down to try to work through things and process where we are at.
Hi and a warm welcome to the community, though we are always a little bit sorry to see people join our very special club.
Having both parents with cancer is extra hard and I would expect with them being separated could make things even more difficult.
How are your children feeling about not having the special time with grandma too; a common picture is of grandparents being quite generous and so things might feel difficult for them too - especially given the restrictions around covid that are enough to drive everyone mad.
I found work to be a good distraction during some of my wife's illnesses - it can be great if they are understanding but I also had it go wrong when there was an incident in the workplace and my boss put it down to my stress and my wife's cancer so it can need careful handling.
For me what really helped was doing a living with less stress course with Maggie's; I learnt there was little point in worrying about tomorrow - as I nearly always painted it darker than it turned out in real life and it blocked me celebrating the here and now. Sometimes things come at us out of the blue and the conscious breathing techniques were great in stopping me getting overloaded.
Keep posting on here whenever you like, someone is always listening and you will find people just like you and others who have been there done that and we can all be that little bit less alone.
<<hugs>>
Steve
