Hi, I am looking for advice on telling the children about the cancer. My husband is receiving palliative chemo to 'buy him some more time with his family'. The children are 8 and 13 and in May 2019 their dad was suddenly not well and then operated on and in hospital looking obviously fragile. At that point we told them that he had cancer that the doctors were trying to remove and the chemo drugs he was receiving would hopefully keep the rest of the tumours small but if this didn't work he would get very sick and die.
Now, with cancer in his liver which can't be removed, and lungs, he goes for fortnightly chemo but otherwise seems fine to them. I need advice about how and when to speak to them about him not getting better. We don't have a time frame. How can I prepare them and what should I let them see. I don't know what his getting sick will look like so how can I prepare them? Who is best placed to help me talk with them?
I hope some of you have some insights to help me.
Hi ,
often people find the best bet is to be as open with them as possible, there are unknowns that affect us all but children will often pick up if they think they are not being told the full story and often their imaginations will create a world where things are worse that reality - come to that quite a few adults do that too.
There is a guide here Talking to children and teenagers that might help, especially the bit around who else might usefully support them if they know the position.
Hope it helps
<<hugs>>
Steve
