Feeling a bit helpless right now (Covid restrictions)

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Hi - I've just dropped my Mum to the hospital for an operation and due to Covid restrictions, the experience was even more difficult than it would have been on a normal day. We lost my Dad to cancer some years ago, so the fact that my Mum finds herself on this journey, is tough. She has an operation today to remove cancerous cells and a cyst. She's never been into hospital before. She doesn't drive and lives alone. For the past 2 weeks, she has had to shield in advance of the operation today. I could have shielded with her, with or without my husband, but she didn't want to put that pressure onto us. So, all we've been able to do is drop shopping at the door. We formed a 'support bubble; her one week prior to diagnosis after being in lockdown for over 3 months. It's all just so cruel. I've been told I cannot see her after the operation for another 2 weeks, other than collecting her from the hospital. I'm the sort of person who will bend over backwards to help even a complete stranger, so for me, this is actually the most difficult part to get my head around. I'm now just waiting for the hospital to call me with news - later today I expect. They wrote my phone number on a post it note earlier, which didn't really fill me with confidence! I am sure she is in good hands, but I just feel so helpless and a bit lost. Just had to get this into words on here. My intention is not to scare or worry anyone else, but feel it's best to be honest right now. I am working from home later today, which will hopefully keep my head busy at least, but all I really want to do is fast forward a few weeks.

src60 over 5 years ago

Hi,

hope you got the phone call ok; just wanted to say I feel for you. It was difficult enough when I could visit my wife.

Do post on here whenever, there is always someone listening.

<<hugs>>

Steve

FormerMember over 5 years ago

Hi there, I totally feel and empathize with your struggle. I am waiting for my dad’s diagnosis, he’s gone back into extreme isolation since a cavity was found on his lung, after 3 months of lockdown which was already taking its toll on my parents. All I can do is video call every day and chit chat hoping it helps keep his spirits up, but it’s hard to know if that helps and feels like not nearly enough in terms of support. I don’t know what to suggest but just sending you a lot warmth and best wishes for your family. Praying this pandemic is over soon.

orange lily over 5 years ago in reply to FormerMember

Thanks for your replies.

Beth Mary - I’m sorry you find yourself in a similar position. My Mum came home today which is a huge relief. She’s very tired and in some pain but is home and safe. Supporting from afar is certainly a challenge. Some of the things I did prior to her diagnosis and prior to her shielding before her operation included sending cards in the post - something small to brighten her day, sent little gifts as pick me ups, online food shopping, lots of phone calls and I also set up FaceTime. And I made a chart to tick off the days in isolation. We’re taking one day at a time and not looking too far ahead. That has helped me as it is less to get your head around. I was able to see my Mum today as I collected her from the hospital, which was lovely. Must be very hard for you being so far away. When will your Dad get his results?

FormerMember over 5 years ago in reply to orange lily

Orange Lily - I am so happy to hear the news about your mum, and that you got to see each other so soon after the operation. These tips are so useful, thank you! His results come at the end of next week. How is your mum's recovery going?

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Feeling a bit helpless right now (Covid restrictions)