Hi all.
I'm so happy to have found this support group as I'm really really struggling emotionally.
My lovely mum had the devastating news on the day of lock down that her lung cancer could no longer be treated due to the tumour growing again and because she is too frail to have any further treatment.
She managed 4 lots of chemo from july last year and 2 lots of radiotherapy which ended the end of November.
My mum lives 200 miles away which makes things really difficult as I'm obviously not around but have been going up every 2/3 weeks to see her for a day but text and phone her a couple times a day.
I am finding things really really hard,guilt is horrendous and not being able to be there to care for her is really playing havoc with my emotions, she does have a long term partner who thankfully i
there all the time at the moment due to being furloughed but this will soon come to an end so really worried on what we are going to do
She is all I think about 247 and I'm petrified of what is coming in the next few weeks/months as she is becoming weaker as the weeks pass.
Thank you for listening.x
Hi ,
sorry to hear about your mum, it is always that bit extra difficult when we are not physically close though with covid many are feeling even more cut off than usual.
I am sure your mum is really proud of you and it is clear you care, that must buoy her quite a lot. Hopefully the doctors are still looking after your mum to ensure she is as comfortable as possible. For her and her partner I hope they find the support they need to support them. Normally they local council would do a needs assessment for your mum and a carers assessment for her partner but I am not sure quite how that works just now. It can be a great relief to all to know that plans are in place as things change. At one point my parents moved in to warden supervised accommodation and that meant there was always someone on hand in an emergency but mostly they just got on with life.
When my wife was taken ill I spent a lot of time thinking ahead, but after 6 years with cancer we have come to learn things we worried about the most did not really happen but other surprises can derail the best laid plans. I did a living with less stress course that helped me to understand that it is better to appreciate what we have than spend forever worrying about what next and that helped both myself and then my wife learn to live with cancer.
With my parents one of the really useful things we did was learn more about their childhood and youth, what they went through was truly remarkable and memories to treasure for ever.
Your feelings are totally normal and sometimes it is good just to recognise that and think what can i do today and most importantly of all be kind to yourself.
<<hugs>>
Steve
