Newly diagnosed Father and how to support my Mum

Hi Lexy, 

I am really sorry to hear about your Dad's diagnosis. I am not really in the best situation to advise you as I am in a similar boat to you. My dad has recently been diagnosed with Myeloma and my family and I are still trying to get our heads around it. He has also been diagnosed with Prostate cancer for about a year too. He has started intensive course of chemo and taking a whole load of tablets, steroids, and God knows what else and will then be having a stem cell transplant. Anyway, I live just over two hours away and I suffer with several painful chronic conditions meaning the support and help I can offer my Mum and Dad at this time are pretty bleak, especially with Corona virus shielding etc. It makes me feel pretty useless and I can imagine that's something you are battling too, trying to be there for them in such difficult circumstances. 

I would suggest just making sure you are there for them as much as you can be emotionally. Obviously being there for your dad if he wants to talk, email or whatever he feels up to doing but also making sure your Mum's needs are met too. One thing I am concerned about with doing the same thing with my parents is not over crowding them but not making them feel abandoned either, it's probably a careful balance. I am thinking that with the lack of any physical support I can offer my parents I will offer to do anything I can do remotely, like phone calls to any agencies or anything they need, paperwork, research, simple things like doing their food shop as all those small every day things could be too much for them. I am also going to send care packages to my dad to help him through the chemo and isolation, books, puzzles, music... just some bits to keep him occupied and to let him know I am thinking of him. 

I hope some of this may help you. All you can do is do your best and I think the most important thing is communicating honestly with your parents and sister. I am going to be very straight with my mum and basically order her to ask for help and not take it all on herself and make sure my brother's brothers and i work together to support them and each other too. 

Thinking of you and your family. Stay strong xx