My mum has bene diagnosed with lung cancer and was told that it’s terminal. Cab anyone offer some advice on how to best support her during this time. How can I help her cope?
im so sorry that you’ve had this news. I understand what you’re going through. My mum was told the same thing 2 years ago: the diagnosis was terminal. It’s almost like two things that crush you: cancer has entered your life but also there’s not much in the way of curative options.
however...terminal can mean so many times things, and I think one of the best ways you can support her is by being positive and keeping hope alive when she feels she can’t. Sometimes my mum would say to me ‘I’m going to die soon’ and I’d say ‘no you’re not, we have time, you’re a fighter, so am I, we’re in this together’.
another way which I think is the most important is to be with her for appointments and chemo/scans etc. Be the one who knows how to get to wards, who brings snacks and water, who remembers to bring cash for a cab and has their phone to call a cab. it’s an overwhelming experience for her and taking the lead on logistics means that she can have mental space to process all the big feelings of anxiety.
Also help her with a notebook and write everything down fit her (numbers, dates, etc) and keep a log of her symptoms which you can bring to the doctors but also write down what the doctors say. Sometimes it’s so overwhelming for her, she will forget.
these were things that I did which my mum said really helped and meant a lot to her. Hope that they might be helpful for you and if not just wish you all the strength, peace, and courage for you and your mum.
Thank you so much for the reply, it really does help. She had a biopsy today which will determine whether she can access Chemo, they said if it’s too advanced they wouldn’t be putting her forward for it. I can’t go to see her In hospital due to the current situation which is making so much harder.
