Hospital discharge - Hospice care?

FormerMember over 5 years ago

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Hi everyone, I wondered if anyone had any advice or had maybe been through a similar experience? My dad is currently in hospital, we recently found out his throat cancer had spread to his spine and lungs and he has been given a terminal diagnosis of 3-6 months. A huge shock for all of us as it seemed his throat cancer had been caught fairly early and was completely curable. He isn't able to walk at all and is still in quite a lot of pain but the hospital want to discharge him. It would be too much for my mum to have him at home, they have said 4 carers coming in the day but she would be by herself apart from that, it is just too much physically and mentally as he needs 24 hour care. We would really like him to go into a hospice, these are his wishes also, however the doctor doesn't seem to think that is an option, even though looking on hospice websites it seems like they do offer some respite care or inpatient care for patients with a terminal diagnosis. I think hospice would be the best place for him to have the best care. The other option is a nursing home which we aren't really sure about, he wouldn't get the psychological help there and with the current virus situation, none of us have been able to see him at all, and that wouldn't change in a nursing home...is it unrealistic to be thinking about trying to push for hospice care at this stage?

FormerMember over 5 years ago

Hi , I’m sorry to hear about your Dad, I don’t know if hospices are the same in all areas. In my area my nearest hospice only has a few beds and is used for respite care of less than 14 days or for end of life when that is expected to be less than 14 days. A friend of mine with breast cancer that had spread to her brain had respite care in there to get her pain meds sorted out and then she was discharged home. She had a hospital bed at home and a care team from the hospice came out 3 or 4 times a day to help and could be contacted in case of emergency her husband couldn’t manage on his own but with the support of the hospice and visitors giving him an opportunity to have some time on his own they managed for the few months until she passed away.

Based on my experience above a hospice isn’t going to be able to help continuously unless it’s at his home, but they were wonderful and her daughter brought forward her wedding so that it could happen with my friend her Mum there, and the hospices chaplain helped in that respect to.

My own Mum not cancer related but due to being over 90 and having COPD had carers coming into her home 4 times a day to help with bathing and getting food but after a fall went into hospital. To come out of hospital she needed to go back to her own home or to a care home or nursing home. Social services did a care assessment and assessed that a care home was her best option, she went to a care home for a few weeks and the care home pushed for a move to a nursing home with nurses for her care as they felt her needs were to complex for them to deal with.

I am not sure what you mean when you say he would not get the psychological help there with the corona virus. My daughter is currently helping with admin in a care home and the residents are confined to their own rooms instead of being able to use communal rooms and having group activities. It is a shame you can’t visit where they are suggesting, I am expecting you have done an internet search and possibly have phoned to get further info. I think the pressure will be on to make a decision to move him as quickly as possible out of hospital or at least that’s how I felt about my Mum at the time.

I hope you can come to the best compromise for all of you in these hard times.

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Hospital discharge - Hospice care?