I just need to talk to other people about my father. He was taken to A&E last night as he had severe abdominal pain for the last 2 days. He’s been in hospital before for various tests for strange symptoms over the last few years but always sent away after various tests. Today the consultant rang me and said your father has had a ct scan and it’s bad news. He has Stomach and colon cancer which has metastasised to his liver and lungs. Was a complete shock. It is inoperable and they have said only thing left is palliative care. He has a matter of weeks left or this could be days if his bowel gets blocked. I had to pick him up from hospital today. He was crying. I have spoken to a palliative nurse at the hospital who said she will refer him to community care nurses. I don’t know if this will be enough for him. He cried that he doesn’t want to die in agony. Do Macmillan nurses get involved with care when it’s only a matter of a very short time until death. THe hospital haven’t given him any medication, just paracetamol which will no doubt be useless. Do I just wait for community nurses and what are they likely to do. My mother is 80 and she will be unable to cope with this as she is also in poor health. With all their Covid 19 business happening as well, I’m afraid I have had to break the social distancing rule and basically comfort my mum and dad. The awful thing is that my father told me 4 times today to get my mum a CT scan as he is sure she’s got the same thing. I will have to fight tooth and nail for this but it is his wish and I need to honour that. I don’t think my dad knows what time limit he has left and I really cannot tell him this. The consultant has only told him he’s got terminal cancer and asked him about the resuscitation wishes which my father couldn’t answer. I just want him to be as comfortable and pain free as possible but I have no idea how to ensure that this happens.
Hi and welcome to the online community
I'm very sorry to read that you dad has recently been diagnosed with incurable stomach and bowel cancer. It must be a very difficult time for all the family.
From what I understand, when your dad is discharged from hospital his care returns to his GP and it's your dad's GP who is responsible for co-ordinating all the various health care providers and services. If you haven't already done so it would be a good idea to speak to your dad's GP to get all of this rolling. Have a look at this information from Macmillan which tells you about getting support and gives information on who might look after your dad and what they can do.
I'm also going to suggest that you join and post in the supporting someone with incurable cancer group as it will give you the chance to talk to others who have a loved one with incurable cancer. It's a safe and supportive place to discuss your emotions as well as practical issues about palliative care.
When you have a minute it would be really useful if you could pop something about your dad's journey so far into your profile as it really helps others when answering or looking for someone with a similar diagnosis. It also means that you don't have to keep repeating yourself. To do this click on your username and then select 'Edit Profile'. You can amend it at any time and if you're not sure what to write you can take a look at mine by clicking on my username.
Sending a supportive ((hug))
"Never regret a day in your life, good days give you happiness, bad days give you experience"
