my mum was diagnosed with womb cancer last August. The last 8 9 months have been a whirlwind of tests chemo radio tablets different treatments but having fought and gone through everything she's gone through myself and my sister were told on Monday that there's nothing more they can do to help her. We were told she may only have weeks to live. My mum knows they can't do anything else but she doesn't know the length of time she may have left. She's always told us from the start that if it came to this she didn't want to know how long she had. During this pandemic with the virus she has had absolutely no treatment at all. Last time she was anywhere a doctor was beginning of March and they had said then that everything was looking fine but in a matter of weeks we are at this point. She is absolutely ill now she is pretty much bed ridden but in all honesty she has been bed ridden the last 8 9 months since she was diagnosed. She's had to use a wheelchair weneva she's had to leave the house cos she can't walk the length of herself because of where the tumour is they thought that it was pressing on a nerve so her leg wasn't really working properly. She's had a hell of a time the last few months and I always thought its only until she's better she's gonna get thro this it was the one thing that kept me strong for her but now having been told she may not have long I don't know how to process it. And having to look at her being so strong like she always is even tho she's in so much pain all the time. I can't bare the thought of losing her.
Dear Harley
I am so sorry to hear about your devastating news. My mum has just recently been told her cervical cancer has returned after 13 years and is now in her womb and abdomen.
Life can be so cruel sometimes, and we often don't have the answers we need, but I just wanted to let you know you are not alone hoping it will be of some comfort to you.
My uncle passed away last year from cancer as well, and the only advice I can offer you is to make the most of the time you have. We used our time to reminisce and laugh about old times and let each other know you love each other.
Please let me know if you want to talk. Sorry if this has not been much help, I just saw you hadn't had any responses yet and wanted to let you know you are not alone.
Dear Harley
again to reiterate what Chloe has said above, I cannot say anything to you that is going to take away what you are feeling. However I can tell you that I share the same fears and anxiety you are experiencing.
My mum is being treated for secondary breast cancer, which came back to our lives about 4 years ago. It feels unbelievable to write this or express it publicly but her situation has worsened and we as a family are dealing with the fact that we are losing the battle against the disease that has been with us for 20 years now.
I feel like nothing in the world feels the same and I don’t know or can’t imagine life will ever feel ok without her. I just too wanted to say that you aren’t alone and talking to people be it people you are close to or people you haven’t met will help. I’m am so sorry for what’s going on right now I really am, it’s really not easy and I wish you all the strength in the world. Xx
Hiya cholelily
Thank you so much for the reply it has helped more than you will know.
I'm sorry to hear about your mum. Your right life can be so cruel and definitely unfair.
I've known about my mums terminal diagnosis now for a few days and its still not sunk in. I keep hoping that its a bad dream or that the docs have got it wrong. Her cancer doctor hasn't been in touch once it was our local gp that broke the news. Her cancer doc always made us believe that she was fine and that she was going in the right direction. My mum has done so much fighting and been thro hell and now she's been told it was for nothing. I'm finding it really hard to known what to do my sister is being so amazingly strong and I'm an emotional wreck. Took a few days off work but have now decided that I am going to go back I need something to keep me occupied.
Hiya Rg1210
Thank you so much for your reply. I'm so sorry to hear your mum is also going thro a battle with this horrible disease. When my mum was first diagnosed they never told us that it could come this far they always made us believe that she was gonna come thro it if we had had some sort of inkling that it could turn for the worst maybe I wouldn't be in so much shock I don't know. I can't imagine a life with my mum not in it it breaks my heart even having to contemplate it. I wish I had the strength she is showing right now.
Every morning I wake up and have to check with myself it’s not all a bad dream. I think it’s also normal to feel angry. Sometimes I feel so angry I could scream.
I went back to work yesterday for the first time since finding out, and it definitely is good to get some time to just get stuck in to what you’re doing and not think about everything else.
Please don’t beat yourself up about not feeling strong. I’m sure it would be more worrying if you felt fine. We can all only do our best, and as I said make the most of the time we have.
it does however seem a bit odd that you’ve not heard anything directly from the oncologists? If you feel you need more information maybe you could try to contact them?
My sister is trying to get contact with her but so far hasn't been successful. I would really like to speak to her and find out why only weeks ago everything she was telling us was super positive and now she gets our gp to tell us that there's nothing more that can be done and she may only have weeks to live. Something doesn't add up. I have been off work for a few days but plan to go back tomorrow when I'm not with my mum I'm just sitting in the house staring at 4 walls and it's not helping so I think going back and keeping myself occupied will help
Hi Harley
sorry for the late reply, I didn’t get a notification. Just wanted to check in on how you’re doing?
always here if you want to talk
Hi Harley
I've just joined this group today and seen your message and feel like we're going through the same thing. My mum is in the late stages of cancer and bedridden. Like your mum mine also didn't see a doctor for weeks. I find that the old cliche taking each day one day at a time has helped. Looking too far ahead upsets me too much. I try my best to not get upset at my parents but it's getting harder.
Sometimes I feel like we're the only family going through this just now. It's just a horrendous time!
Hi chloelily
Thanks for the message. I'm still a bit raw from the news a week ago but trying to focus on time we have now. I have been spending alot of time with my mum and have gone back to work to try and take my mind off of things if only for a little while.
How are things with you?
Xx
hi linz2020
Thanks for getting in touch.
I have been trying over the last couple days to just try and live in the moment and make most of time we have left but every so often I get like a jolt back to reality and I am reminded that I will lose her soon and it upsets me again. Its hard to not think about it but tryin to keep busy helps. I have spent alot of time with her over last few days and to c her even tho she is bed ridden she looks better than she has done for a while. She's eating more and even having a laugh with us. Its so hard to believe the diagnosis and find myself hoping the doctors are wrong. Because she doesn't know that she's been given weeks I find myself holding back talking about the future with her. She was talking about my aunties 70th next year the other morning and I didn't no wot to say so I just found myself nodding in agreement with her.
This group does help and talking helps also so if u ever want to talk vent let off steam don't hesitate to message me.
Xx
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