Bowel cancer

Hi and welcome to the online community

I'm very sorry to hear that your dad has recently been diagnosed with bowel cancer which has spread to his liver. It must be an incredibly hard time for your dad, mum and yourself coming to terms with this.

It sounds like you and your mum are trying to do all you can to help your dad and I'm sure he doesn't mean to be nasty to you. He could be finding his cancer diagnosis hard to come to terms with and you may find this information from Macmillan on talking with someone who has cancer useful for you and your mum to read. It explains how your dad might be feeling about what he's facing. There's also a section on looking after yourself as that's important for you and your mum to do.

Sending a supportive (((hug)))

Thank you for responding . We took him to hospital yesterday we don’t know how long he’s going to be in for. He’s never been in hospital or away from home ever. 
he had a temperature yesterday and they’ve tested for covid and now put him in a room on his own . 

Sorry to hear that your dad's now in hospital . Was this because his bowel cancer was causing him problems? Hopefully his temperature is nothing to worry about and he'll be home soon.

x

They were supposed to be admitting him to do a liver biopsy and possible stoma. But then his temperature is up and he’s chesty so it’s suggesting covid 19.

now they’ve Tod us today he can’t have anything as he’s not strong enough. That’s it it’s too advanced. I can’t cope , Macmillan lines are shut no one cares 

I'm sorry that you think because our telephone support lines were closed when you made your last post that no one cares, we on the online community do care we are here every day of the week from very early morning to very late at night and it is not unusual to find a number of members on during the night. In normal circumstances, and I'm sure you'll agree that the circumstances we find ourselves in is nothing like we've ever experienced before, we would have been making many suggestions where you might find help in coping with the situation you find yourself in.

There is, however, one place you should contact  to discuss how you are feeling and that is your GP,  it might be that he can refer you to a counsellor that you will be able to talk to and explain how not being able to cope is making you feel and sometimes that can be all that is needed is just to off load everything or the GP might be able to spend a bit of time to listen to you.

When we are going through a series of events like you are with your dad all we need is someone with a friendly ear to listen to us.

Just because your dad has been admitted for having Coronavirus symptoms doesn't mean necessarily that his treatment for bowel cancer will be put on hold, obviously whilst he is being investigated for Coronavirus they won't do any invasive procedures like the liver biopsy or surgery for bowel cancer but these will be part of his care plan and will be closely monitored by all the doctors involved, they might not physically see your dad but they can remotely organise tests and examine them and get the medical staff looking after your dad to implement any changes to make your dad more comfortable.

But looking to the future when dad comes out of hospital he will be reassessed and his doctors will decide on his future care plan, he won't just be left without some sort of treatment but at this time we can't second guess how your dad will be, the stage of the bowel cancer, how his liver is, how strong he is in fact many factors will be discussed, you might think that nothing is happening but behind the scenes many people will be discussing your dad and based with all the medical information in front of them will make the best decision on a care plan that they are able to. Your dad is in the hands of your NHS service who are still proving at this time of a national crisis that they are capable of providing a first class service to all who need it when they need it and I'm sure that your dad will be well looked after.

Hopefully he has his mobile phone and charger with him and you can chat to him throughout the day.

Just to let you know that at 9 am this morning our fantastic team who man the support lines will return to answer the phones and demonstrate just how much they care about everyone who phones by listening very careful to the problems people are experiencing and trying to find a solution, the lines can get very busy and a short wait maybe experienced but you can be assured that one of the team will answer you if you are patient, I'm not sure if you will be offered a call back if they are exceptionally busy or not either way you will be connected to a devoted caring member of staff who will listen to you and give you all the time you need to get everything off your chest and get you back on the road to coping.

Just a few things to bear in mind

The support line closes at 5pm daily.

Your GP is the place to go for further support and possible counselling sessions.

The online community is open 24 hours per day and you are very welcome to come in and have your say, and rant and rave, every post is read by one or many of the members and depending on what you say if your post needs an answer someone will give you one but we will never judge you in anyway.

I hope that today you will pick up the phone and make at least two phone calls and both of them make you feel as people do care and you receive some useful advice to help you cope.

Ian

CC

They’ve said dad can’t have any treatment, not because of the corona but because he’s not strong enough. No biopsy no stoma no chemo.

they just said they would try and manage his symptoms to give him the best quality of life. The cancer is too adavanced to treat. To hear this news over the phone is heartbreaking, I’ve done nothing but sob 

I'm really sorry that you received the news about dad by telephone due to the current situation, no doubt you had many questions that you needed answering but you can still ask these questions by telephoning the consultant who was looking after your dad as he still will be involved in his future planning to give dad his best quality of life going forward, you can also speak to your GP.

Tinky I hope by now you have made the phone calls I suggested earlier as you do sound as if you need to speak to someone urgently.

Receiving this type of news brings on a form of grieving and you are in the denial and anger stages and it is impossible to tell how long it will take you to reach the acceptance stage but it can be achieved by speaking to others especially those who are experiencing the same and this forum is an excellent place to connect with others and just talk, sometimes it is hard to find the words and the easiest way is just to put down everything on your mind.

To let you know - I care enough to continue listening to you if you want. 

I have mentioned our fantastic telephone support team and your GP as initial good places to start to get help and find people who are ready to speak with you but there is always the third option which may or may not be suitable to you and that is your local church and speak with the clergyman, churches often have groups of people who telephone people like yourself and just listen.

Lots of options for you please make the phone calls you'll be amazed the help that is available to help bring out your grief but you do need to take the first steps by picking up the telephone.

And if course this community is only a click away every day of the week.

Ian

CC

Hi

As my friend has said, please don't think that no one at Macmillan cares just because the phone lines were closed when you wanted to speak to someone.

Normally they are open until 8pm every day but due to the coronavirus they have had to reduce the opening times to 5pm. Hopefully, by now you've rung and spoken to someone as it does sound like you need help coping with your feelings.

If you need to talk to someone outside the times that Macmillan are available you can always ring the Samaritans 24 hours a day on 116 123.

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