Hello all,
My mum was diagnosed with cancer I around about 2 years ago. I'm only 20 and the eldest (there is three of us in total). My mums cancer has developed to the point where no one can do anything for her. It started off as mouth and neck cancer and has now spread to the lungs. I'm starting to feel really helpless, as all she has ever said is she wants things to remain the same and for me to enjoy everything that life has to offer. However, I feel like I should be doing more for her, and I feel a tremendous amount of guilt whenever I go out because as morbid as it sounds, I don't know whether she will be there when I get home. I feel incredibly sad all the time and my mum has always been the strong one, the one I have done everything with and to see her in such a way where she sometimes can't do everyday tasks kills me. I also feel like I bottle up my feelings as I have 2 younger siblings (aged 11 and 12) and they have no actual idea of what is going on; they know a softened version of the reality. Therefore if I start crying randomly they'll always question (inquisitive ages). I just wondered if anyone has any tips or ways to help me deal with my feelings as it's getting to a point where I have bottled too much up and I fear I won't be able to be strong anymore. I also wondered if people have any suggestions to help me be able to talk to my mum, as I struggle because I don't want to upset her, she has enough on her mind and I don't want her to worry about me.
Thank you,
Becky x
