My grandmother who is 83, type 2 diabetic has been diagnosed with locally advanced pancreatic cancer. I live in Australia and came home for Christmas and decided to stay until we had a diagnosis.
My grandmother has been suffering from loss of appetite and diarrhoea since November and has lost about 3 stone. She is in no pain, just fatigued. She manages to get up every morning, can still care for her own basic needs and manages to go to the shop with my grandfather for an hour once a day but then gets very tired afterwards.
On Wednesday we got told it’s not curable as it’s inoperable, she could have chemo but will only give her extra 8 weeks on top of prognosis which as been given at anything from 3-18months. However as a family we don’t particularly want her to have chemo and prefer her to have some quality of life while she still can. She has also now agreed not to have chemo.
Since she has been told she is going on with life as if nothing has happened, she was getting very irate with us when we were asking about chemo or not. I feel she may be in a bit of denial as she said about getting a 2nd opinion and chemo, but had to tell her chemo won’t make her better.
What I am struggling with is, do I go back to Australia and work? Or do I stay? I know pancreatic cancer is a horrible one and prognosis is usually not long. I find it so hard being given a broad time frame. Do I stay and come back? Or do I stay at home not working waiting for things to happen? I feel like I’m abandoning my grandmother and loosing my support network.
Does the downhill spiral of pancreatic cancer happen over night? It’s so hard to know with her age and type 2 diabetes.
Any information or help will be greatly appreciated.
