Struggling to cope with mums diagnosis

Hello mylo 

I am so sorry to hear about your Mum. To be twenty and to face losing your mother is really hard and really unfair I think. My opinion for what it is worth, is that to be sad in these circumstances is totally right and normal and not something to be medicated away.  To feel your feelings talk and get support from a therapist or counsellor and friends and family is a better approach. Maybe talking about how sad you feel to your Mum might help also? I am sure she is sad to be losing you too. I hope you are still managing to spend time with her and just enjoy each other’s company talking about and doing normal things as far as possible. Make the most of any time you still have just to be with her.

I think you are on the right track with trying to lift your mood with excercise There is good evidence that this is effective. Two other suggestions would be to join a choir that sings the kind of music you like - there’s something about singing in a group that lifts the spirits, and it gets you out and mixing with other people. I have also found Mindfulness meditation helpful especially if you are experiencing anxiety along with the sadness. Check out the Headspace App . It’s meditataion for western minds and really easy to follow and understand.   Listen to your own instincts and do what you feel will help you.

The option of antidepressants is still there should you feel you need them. They can be useful too. I think the important thing is to do what is right for you.

I hope this helps a little. Sending a virtual hug  

xx

Hi Mylo

Sorry to hear about your mum. Mine is in a similar position, she has stage 4 TCC (a form of kidney cancer), and was diagnosed back in June. Like your mum, mine is currently battling through chemo, and holding her own at the moment.

I can't really offer any more advice on well being but I'm 100% with you on the gym/swimming sorting your head out. It's only my opinion but I have tried antidepressants previously and hated how they made me feel. An hour hammering rowing machines/ treadmills and so on always improves my state of mind, and quite frankly I think I'd struggle to keep going without having that release of stress. All I can say is that it works for me, and if it works for you, keep going. As a side effect of that you're doing wonders for your health and fitness as well.

I do find popping on here from time to time and having a good moan helps as well.

All the best

C

Hi Mylo

So sorry to hear about your Mum. I am in a similar situation. It sounds to me like you have your head screwed on and know what works for you, so that's a great start. I agree that the exercise is a great idea. It might not be for everyone, but personally I find creative things are great for taking your mind somewhere else- this could be cooking, sewing, art. Maybe there is even something that you and your Mum could do together? Or you could try writing as a way to express your feelings- sometimes just "getting it out" is helpful. Coming onto these boards can also be useful, just to know that there are others in a similar situation. I've been on a Macmillan HOPE course for Family/ Carers which I found useful. It was just a half day course, maybe you could see if that is an option in your area?

All the best for you and your Mum Mylo.

x