losing a parent

Your loss seems insurmountable at the moment and it does get more balanced??? as the weeks move forward.  I remember feeling angry at seeing others walking round smiling.  I remember the only people I could laugh with in the earlier days were those who had been there all my life, my brother and my mum.  I am at the stage now, 5 years on that I can smile at dads memories without getting sad.  I still have sad days, especially on days I feel the need of his wisdom and guidance, when as families we have milestones - such as my eldest having triplets.  I look for signs and find them (please do not think me mad) I found a feather fluttering down on the morning he passed whilst having a wee!!!!! and on significant days when I need support and guidance somehow a feather appears - It gives me comfort.  My dad too had bowel cancer which spread to his brain but we were lucky enough to have dad either pain free or stoically covering for all but the last few days.... There will never be a day that you will not miss him but there will be days that you can look back and be so grateful that he was your dad.

 Take one day at a time and try not to work through the grief but let the grief work through you and be kind to yourself x

Thank you for your kind words, I have good and bad days and already know what it is like to lose those close to you. I lost my mother and my sister and know it gets better with time but never goes away. It’s only been 15 weeks but It’s still raw and like I said I have good and bad days.

It’s normal to feel like you do and you know nobody knows how you really feel but you. Your so so sad, your heart is broken you want your parent back but you cannot have them. You cannot even pick up the phone and call them which is really hard especially if you talked to them everyday like I did my father. You must think to yourself what would dad do and how would he deal with it. Think good things about your dad and do things that you shared together it helps sometimes because it makes you feel close. I talk to mine he is on my wall at home I find it helps.