Loved one not wanting treatment

Hi ,

The decision to do chemo/radio is not without challenge and it is good that your mum has planned to at least give it a try but if she finds it perhaps might cause more problems that it could potentially solve is a difficult one. Of course your mother may well find that those first two treatments do not cause some of the problems that have worried her and she may go on to complete the recommended course, very few people get all the side effects listed.

Supporting someone going through cancer is really quite a difficult path as we might not always understand their decisions. My wife never wanted a prognosis and that caused me real difficulties but after 6 years I have come to realise a prognosis is at best a guess and the doctors have something of a habit of being biased towards the worst case scenarios by saying things like "at least x months".

Hopefully things will go well and together you will get through this, I am sure your mum will welcome your support and fingers crossed those two treatments will go well and even if they do cause issues they may have knocked out those few cancer cells at the same time.

<<hugs>>

Steve

Thank you for your kind message Steve it is much appreciated and helped me to see that even the scenario of my mum having a couple of treatments would be positive. 

Thanks again

joanna 

Hi Joanna

As somebody else has said, your Mum is at least willing to try so that is positive. It may just take her time to absorb everything. Although all the leaflets can be helpful, they can also be overwhelming. I would allow your Mum a bit of time to process things; you may then feel more comfortable to approach her again about her decision. It can be really difficult as the relative I think. We are not the one with the disease, so it can be hard to understand a decision, but we have little choice. Be there to support your Mum, and allow this board and family and friends to support you. Obviously every case is different, but your Mum is unlikely to experience all of the side effects, and some effects may be mild rather than to the extremes that the leaflets mention.

I wish you and your Mum all the best

Helen