Having a bad day

Very good advice Sue.

Elenium it was a Diwali do. I haven't been out for about a year!  Was v good.

Rant away here. It us VERY unfair on you and your Mum.  

I wonder if memory foam would help Mum she has sore bum.

Jx

Maisiemaie I'm very sorry it must be very frightening and I dread that time.  We are all little children I suspect when we reach this point.

If she is hurtful it's this vile disease. You are doing your best am sure she knows. 

Thinking of you. 

Hug.

Jx

Oh maisiemae, my heart goes out to you. You just have to remember that she doesn't mean it.  She loves you.  Even if she's not saying it she wants you there.  You go and be wth her.  We are all here for you.  Write it all down, it helps.  I wish I could come and give you a hug and be with you.

Message anytime.

Hi Jenny,

Glad you had a good time.  We couldn't go out, even if I had wanted to, as one of our dogs is very scared of fireworks.  A friend sent me link last night about thundershirts - they help nervous dogs - and someone had made a temporary one with a scarf tied round their dog.  I tried it and it worked! My poor dog finally stopped shaking.

There is a company that makes hospital type matresses and you can have them at home.  They will make up a double bed size if ordered.  Apparently it's about £190.  Our palliaive care nurse told me about them.  I'm going to look into one for mum. Their website is healthandcare.co.uk and they offer free delivery  all over the UK.

Not at mum's today, my sister is there.  I am going out for lunch with my husband in a minute.  It's nice to do something normal for a change.

Oh Sweetheart,

My heart breaks for you. I am only too aware of things that happen in childhood staying with us. Of course you feel like a scared little girl inside, for no other reason than the fact she's your Mum. My Mum passed from Bowel cancer in May. I'm 64 & I felt more like 6!! Even the professionals tried to say that her cancer was different to what my partners is. I said yes, but she was my Mum!!! 

I hope you get the chance to say Goodbye to your Mum. If she's cold to you it could be that she's scared too, & that be her way of coping with the end. 

Huge Hugs

Sue xx

I'll see how Alan is the next few days & let you know Jenny

Sue x

Hi Girls,

Difficult couple of days. Alan's hardly eaten since Thursday. He's not drinking enough either. Yesterday I had to start hoping his codeine as he was constantly in discomfort. He slept slightly better last night, even after a soak in the bath & the new memory foam topper. He's wanting me to spend more time just laying with him, which is no problem. My fear is that he's given up. He's never given up over anything all his life. After my crash in 2009 if it hadn't been for him I would've given up, but his sheer force of will gave me the strength to keep going through the pain & physio. So to see him like this is just breaking my heart. 

We've been together 9 years, not always harmoniously, & to see him now is almost more than I can bear. 

Sorry to be a moaning Minnie today, but as you've all said, we need to let things out

Sue

Was in cornwall now nearly in london then train to norfolk! Just getting emails now. Thanks for responses it makes me feel held. Have spoken to mum and she has said she wants me with her sooner the better, every traffic light, every slow CostaCoffee server are doing my head in. Brother is leaving mum as he says he has work, ffs so do I and ive got to do some wages in the office b4 Norfolk leg of the journey to be with my beautiful mum. I jast want to feel her skin and hold her and secretly i want her to stroke my hair but i know i have to be the big gorl now. She wants to put her dog down b4 she passes and and and (dog is 16 blind and deaf) but we would have her but vet said it wld be unfair to dog although my dogs were great with her knowing she was an old girl. I keep forgetting to breathe. Im scared. So is mum im sure. She has faith. Im afraid i dont. I will be with her by about 9 pm tonight. May be back on here. Love to you all who are also going through similar struggles. X

Shopgood. Big hugs to you and alan. Im afraid i dont know all the stories but know there is a good tight supportive group here. Testing tough times. Oh to laugh and be carefree dancing barefoot in the sand x

Thank you Maisiemae,

It means so much not to feel as though you're the only person on the planet going through this.

Alan, my partner went into hospital in August because he collapsed at home. Mid September he had surgery to remove a grapefruit size tumour in his stomach. Unfortunately this only stopped his internal bleeding, which caused the collapse. He's 84 & this was the last thing we'd considered. On September 30th the consultant told us he's terminal and treatment wouldn't help. When I asked year or two? the consultant said No, months. He's been home since the 1st week in October & I'm seeing him deteriorating day by day. 

I can't imagine facing having your Mum's dog pts. That would be too much for me to bear.

Big Hugs 

Sue xx