Having a bad day

Elenium maisiemae bobles and everyone else out there it's heartbreaking to read and I feel it so deeply with you. You will have my hand to hold today ass well at this terrible frightening time. Heart felt love and prayers to you all 

Maisiemae & Elenium,

HUGS. Just HUGS.

XxxX 

Sue xxx

My darling friends. Im squatting in the floor watching mum breathe. She has shown no reaction to me being here. She knows who i am though. She just said when i got here, let me go, please just let me go. She is so weak now its just a little sip of water from a straw. My sister, ive just found out meant next weekend she is coming! Well i pray mum isnt here then. For her sake this is torture. I ordered her coffin today. About 2 weeks ago she was irritates i hadnt ordered it already but it felt wrong, today it feels right. My mum should get ehat she wants but her brain. Is strong. Mum as i know her is gone already - i love her enough to let her go. I did the silent sobbing when i got here. District nurse told me off. Elenium i am holding your hand with both of my hands. We will survive this horror. It is just that. Does yr mama have an infection? Small infections can make people delerious. I really dont know what to say - just the same you say to me - yourself and your good sister have kept yr mums heart pumping and a reason to fight as long as she has. Im beginning to believe that maybe all my actions were slightly selfish as i needed to see my mum smile. I wish cld give you my phone number as we cld support each other. I feel very very alone here on the floor in the dark. My brother is leaving now. Im on here most the night i expect. Big big hugs xxx

Ps elenium the notifications didnt come through so i only just saw yr post by chance x

Yantibee - to moisten your wifes mouth did you get the little hospital sponges on a stick so mum can suck as getting too weak to sit? How are you dear gentle man?

Sadness at your posts.

Hope for your mum's wish to go comes kindly for her..

Much love.

Jxxx

Hello,

this is a really sad time for all of you on here, please know you are all in my thoughts, and can I join in with the hand-holding, please? I will be phoning Dad later, and dreading what the new year will bring.

Take care,Anneteresa

Maisiemae,

When Alan got too weak to soon I used a clean empty syringe. That way I could get the liquid further into his mouth, and I was able to see how much he'd had. 

Xxx

Oh maisiemae my heart goes out to you it honestly does words cannot express how I feel for you 

My beautiful wife is asleep but today somehow it's different from any other day, there is such a stillness about how she is sleeping, her breathing is short and quiet, she has not moved apart from nurses repositioning her at lunch time and in total it's now 24 hours since she opened her eye or gave any sign she is still with us. For moisture in the mouth they recommended a baby toothbrush just gently across the gums but she didn't like it yesterday as the swallowing action caused her great distress. 

It feels strange here today, a quiet foreboding of the end almost, I sat and read to her earlier and now my eldest is here with his girlfriend just watching TV and chatting quietly, the youngest on his way home from Sheffield so we can all be together for the evening, no champagne corks popping here tonight though, glad to see the end of this year yet fearful of the new one and the coming days and weeks and months. 

No food or water taken now by my love for days now ,I can't believe how strong her will and spirit has been it's immense. I pray that she will pass peacefully but for now she is comfortable and that's all I can squeeze any comfort from at this time. Feel so alone cold and desperate and my heart is truly smashed to pieces. As I say no words of comfort for you but know that your dear Mum will be so proud of you and so glad you are there with her 

My thoughts as always with you all with your tragic situations , love hugs prayers and a hand to hold for you all 

Maisiemae, I am there with you tonight. Your actions were not selfish and you should never think that.  Everything you have done has been for your mum. I'm holding you tight, you're not alone honey.

Mum spent most of the day refusing to eat or drink. Everytime we put something to her mouth she would press her lips together and shake her head.  She didn't open her eyes or speak though. Finally managed to wake her up at 5.30pm and got her to drink some soup. She was very confused and was saying that she must get up and get dressed.  She didn't know where she was.  After about 15 minutes she went back to sleep.

My sister stayed with us all day.  She told me that she's had enough of her husband and if he doesn't start supporting her she'll be leaving him.  Part of me wants mum to be better tomorrow but part of me wants this to all be over for her.  I can't bear it!

My heart is breaking for all of us tonight. I keep get happy new year messages and I just want to tell everyone to F*** off!

Sending love and hugs to you all.  XXX