Having a bad day

Supposed to say see and hold my beloved Jill again!!! Fat fingers and predictive texting and it came out as Andrew ??? Wow

So here we are, 2 years to the day that as a family we celebrated our last Christmas with my beloved Jill, wife, mother, soul mate . I can’t believe it’s been so long as it seems like yesterday especially  this time of year around the anniversary of her leaving us and losing her fight with this wretched disease 

i hope as I lay here with Christmas songs playing on the radio that those who kept me sane as my family and I went through the trauma of watching our much loved Jill suffer, are well and life is as good as it can be for you all; elenium, maisiemae, sue and all the others I wish you a peaceful Christmas. And those who are in the middle of their fight now I send you my prayers and best wishes, I hope it turns out well for you all 

Oh my goodness - is it really that long?

My hubby refuses to call it a fight - that would indicate that some sort of personal strength could overcome it, but as we all know, much as a positive attitude can help at the end of the day only medical intervention can really do it.

We have been rolling along in our new, unwelcome, normal of chemo every 2 weeks and scans every 3 months for 2 and a half years now but the options are now narrowing. On the last of mainstream chemo regimes, immunotherapy a possible but remote option and then clinical trials.

I dread the day when I am where you & the others have been but I know that I will use this forum to enable me to rant, cry, scream and say the unthinkable when I need to.

Love and hugs to you all

May your Christmas be as good as it possibly can and the New Year one to make new memories in.

Zoe

X

Hello all,

I've been thinking of you, my virtual family, quite a lot lately. Natural I suppose as Christmas is nearly here.  I've been so very busy over the last few months but am still missing mum.  Can't remember if I said but I started a new job in March and I love it.  I keeping wanting to tell mum about it.  Well, I do tell her but it's not the same. She would be  so happy for me.  Missing her terribly tonight.  I went to a clairvoyent recently.  Not something that I usually do but I felt that I wanted to. It was interesting and she said things that she couldn't have guessed.  One thing she did say was that mum was euphoric.  I'm hoping that is because she's with dad again.  I don't think I'll be going again. I don't feel the need.

I hope you are all doing OK.  I know it's always harder at Christmas and even though this is the second one without her it's only  very slightly eaiser.

Love to you all. And big hugs, expecially to those of you who are still on this horrible journey.

X

Hello all,

hope you are all doing okay. A bit of a wobble at work on Friday, had enough of pretending all was okay and  for me first thing yesterday but deep breath and my lovely family took it away.

2 years on Saturday , just can't believe the time as you elenium, still semis like yesterday sometimes.

love to all, deep breath and onwards....

xxxxx

Hello elenuim 

Maisiemae 

Sue 

i have been reading your threads from the beginning and found them very comforting. I am now going through all that you have and found it very helpful my mom as lung cancer and secondary on her liver and esopegus and it’s beeaking my heart . She as always been very active and mobile and now she is hooked up to oxygen. She told me today she wished she could end it all . What do u say to that I don’t know . We have McMillan nurses coming in on the 8th of January. I also have my dad poorly at the same time dad is 84 mom is 81 don’t know if you all will see this but I wanted to thank you all as reading your special threads as helped me so much I have still not read them all and I am going to but just wanted to post sending lots of love x

Hi Bobles,

Good to hear from you.

I had a wobble on Chritmas day, as I was doing all the things that mum used to.  Sunday was very hard for me too.  I took all the Christmas decorations down.  I didn't want them up in the first place really. Only put them up for the girls.

I can't believe it's nearly two years.  In some ways it feels like a lifetime ago and in others only yesterday.  

As you say, deep breath and onwards...

X

Hi Michelley,

So sorry that you are hvaing to go through this.  I'm glad that our thread has helped.  It seems like such a long time ago that we wrote all this.  There is so much I have forgotten.  Not necessariy a bad thing, I suppose.

I hope that you manage to find  special friends on here, as we did.  I couldn't have survived the journey without them.

Love and hugs to you.

X

Im at work today and having a so so day a bit normal really . Is that a bad thing who knows . Spoke to mom this morning she sounded a bit spaced out could be the morphine I think . Dad not well at the moment he as a infection going up later to see her after work happy new year to u all

hugs to all that need it x

Well I have just been up to see mom and dad she as had a couple of friends visit today and as left her very tired . So she as gone to bed we have not had any one in to see her nurses etc dr I can only think it’s because of Christmas and new year . The pain meds are keeping the pain away put she as got the injections ready for when She needs them 

I have 2 sons one is very good texting her and one is just not mentioning it at all she did say to me I’ve not heard from no2 that’s what she calls him . She asked me is it because he doesn’t know what to say and I said yes and she got upset . Feeling a bit emotional today .