Having a bad day

Hello everyone 

I have not posted for some time but I do read all your posts. I just wanted to give an update as it looks like the countdown has started. I don't know how long mum will last but we are counting down.  Blood tests have come back very bad looks like she needs another blood transfusion but she is too week to be moved to hospital.  I will be going out there in the next few days. I  just feel helpless at the moment. 

Hello Libertys. 

So sad to read that your Mum is weakened now. 

I'm sure when you get there it will give her comfort. Can you speak to her on the phone now or is she too weak? Tell her everything now.

Look after yourself too.

Much love.

Jennyx

Hi Jenny 

I can speak to her on the phone her voice though is low I can barely hear her. I hope I can get there on time. I  just cannot believe how fast this disease can turn for the worse.

Yantibee, another first. I know,Big hug.xxx

Dear libertys.

I had such an awful day yesterday.  My boss was so horrible.  I've told him what's been happening in my life and how I feel, how he makes me feel (he's a control freak and micromanages everything I do) but he doesn't listen, doesn't care.

I've been to the doctor's today.  She wanted to sign me off but I didn't want that so she has given me anti depressants.  I've been here before and decided not to take them.  I have decided to take them this time.  She thinks that I am depressed and my boss is not helping.  She said realistically he isn't going to change so I need to get out of there as soon as possible but take the tablets to get me through until I can leave. 

I can't believe that after everything I've been through he has made me turn to tablets! He has made my life so miserable.  I really wish my mum was here.  I just need a hug from her.  

I can't keep on like this. I keep trying to be positive and move on and then I get more shit in my life.

It's not fair!

Sorry for my rant, I know that others are going through their own personal hell, but I just needed to let it all out.

Hi Elenium,

Im so sorry that you are going through this. As others on this site (possibly even yourself) have said to me, people who haven’t gone through something similar aren’t always very empathetic. It’s no excuse for giving you such a horrible time though.

Are you sure about not taking any time off? Perhaps it would be a good idea and give you time to explore options as to how you could move on? Is there anyone in HR you could talk to too?

Never apologise for ranting as you aren’t at all - you are sharing your thoughts and feelings in exactly the right place with others who totally understand. You’re also helping yourself and others by sharing as it’s a reminder that you are not alone.

Massive electronic hugs and I am sending some horrible thoughts your bosses way and hope today he steps in a puddle, gets stuck in traffic/ delayed on the train & spills coffee all over himself

xxxxxx

Oh Elenium, you really dont need this do you. Your boss sounds horrible. You know he is probably feeling vulnerable because you are bailing him out.

Sounds to me your doctor has made a bit of a plan for you. I know we all need to work , it’s that thing called money and work is also a focus for me.

questio,for you, do you like the company you work for or not?

if you do, speak to HR, explain what the doctor has said. Depression should be sympathetically viwed and should  support you,  see if you can move roles. If you don’t, I don’t know how long you have to take the tablets to feel an improvement but maybe consider/start looking for another job? 

Decisions decisions...take your time, try the tablets maybe?

i know how much I would love/need  a hug from Bob...

I know I’m not your mum, but sending you a big mum hug. Xxx

Hello, 

I saw the thread and had to butt in, I saw you don't  drink but you turn to chocolate... I have a wonderful solution that I discovered on dark nights on the floor staying with mum while she was feeling rotten...

Prepare yourself..

CHOCOLATE BAILEYS ........ 

Yes you read that correctly......cold liquid chocolate that's thick and wraps around your tongue and when u swallow .....Oh boy ...bit of a warmth on the back of the throat but still silky chocolate.... 

Tastes awesome in Hot Chocolate too .....

(Other  chocolate liquers available... Thorntons ..) 

You are welcome.... 

:O)))

E, you have to rant, or you will explode, the people who keep it in are more likely to be unwell than those who express themselves. alway here to listen and sometimes maybe help, is the listening and understanding the help we need most of all, I think so.  I now have to practice what I preach. In no way does this demean your own feelings but we jump on each others trains, and we are on this choo choo together.  Having a Bad Day, Im having a friggin shitty day, having flooded my house a couple of weeks ago, now have driers in lots of rooms, ceilings down, noise, dirt. AND THEN, received an email from sister as she doesn't speak to me to say the council are trying to overturn mums Will as her husband got less money that half the house which is their own personal agreement, their own personal Wills. So now, having spent over a year sorting mums Estate, not that it was big, it was her life's work and what i did is what she wanted, it said so in the Will.  If her husband gets the extra money we have to give back, why would we need to give it back, he doesn't even want it, it wasn't his to have, how can the Council tell us what to do, then his children, who have not spoken to him in 25 plus years but now they send 'You are the best daddy' cards to him, bees around honey pot. I could scream, Im pleased for him they are interested in him again, but perlease, They did diddly squat when he was in hospital, 11 strokes, no stairlift, mum mainly but then latterly I did it all, all of it for him for years.  I think I too will explode with rage. When his son attempted suicide it was me who was with him in the hospital whilst he had heart attacks and ultimately died, not his family, they didn't want to know, they have never been there for him, ever ever ever.  They are not now benefitting from my mother's life of hard work, no holidays, toil and graft.  Its bad enough the grief but I have to fight this with every fibre of my body. I need to go lay down in a darkened room. I hope everyone is coping in their own way, until this, I was slightly lighter in mood and saw little snippets of light, I miss mum every single day, I cry every single day, but in-between it was a little better. Oh how I want to talk to her now. She would, I'm sure, say, do what you have to do, she could count on me, I will not let her down, I will fight. Do I sound mad? Im not, just how dare anyone challenge my mummy's wishes which were legally written in a Will.