Having a bad day

Mum had chemo week before last, then after that she didn't eat for 4 days. Shes really struggling with nausea. In the last 2 weeks shes eaten half a jacket potato and a cheese sandwich. She hates the mentioned words of "going into hospital". The nausea meds they are giving he - don't seem to help.

I thought my mum was indestructible - hate seeing her like this. Struggling to string a sentence together, struggling to stand up long enough to have a shower and not going out for days upon end.

It is heartbreaking.

You have all  mentioned taking time for yourself - we have 2 young children and I work full-time as does my hubby. As you probably know that cant always happen.

Hi Kirk22,

Sorry to hear about the hard time you are having & how your Mum is feeling.

When my Mum was having chemo she felt very sick too despite the anti sickness. She found ginger biscuits (mcvities ones) really helped. And even if your Mum doesn’t feel like it I would encourage her to just eat little meals regularly. Just something plain (even a crumpet or something).

Might also be worth mentioning to your mums CNS or chemo nurse as they may be able to give her something else.

You will get into a routine, normally there is a pattern and certain days after treatment are worse than others and you can kind of plan around it. For example my mum would feel fine and energetic for the first 2 days (probably due to having steroids) and then have about 5 days of being bad. Mum was on 3 weekly cycles so this will be different to everyone depending on drugs and treatment etc.

I know what you mean about finding time for yourself being difficult but it is important. I think a few people have said about even taking a hot bath for 10 mins. Or maybe reading a book for 10 mins a day, listening to your favourite music, watch a film with your kids. Just take a bit of time doing something “normal” and that you want to do rather than have to do and isn’t cancer related. I find it hard too and sometimes force myself to do normal things and I sometimes feel like I’m acting a part bout it does help. I am going to make more of an effort to do this too as well as being “selfish” with my time and saying no to people more - people expect you to be the same as you were before and do the same things but that’s not always possible. It’s important to look after you so you can be on top form to look after your mum and family too.

Lots of love x

A beautiful if sad time Yantibee, how else could it be.

Love to you all.

2018, as you say, who knows but we are all still here for each other.

xxx

Yantibee, that bought a tear to my eye.  I'm so glad that you and the boys were together.

Thinking of you all.

X

Hi Kirk22.  

It's awful seeing your beloved mum go through these terrible times.  Sending you a big hug.

You do need to take time for yourself.  It's one of the few things that will help keep you sane.  I'm sure your husband could keep the kids entertained for an hour so you can have a nice long soak in the bath or go for a walk.

I always found posting on here helped.  You can be brutally honest and no one will judge you as we've all been there.

X

HI  KIRK  

I HAVE  CHEMO   MY  SELF  ,  

AND  YES I FEEL OK AT  FIRST THEN   THE  SICKNESS  STARTS  AND  I FEEL  REALLY  BAD  .

I HAVE DRY TOAST  AND  WATER    THATS  ABOUT  ALL I CAN KEEP  DOWN  .

I  LIVE  ON MY  OWN    NOW MY  PARTNER   DID  A RUNNER  WHEN SHE  FOUND  OUT  I  WAS  SICK  WITH  THE  BIG  C .  SO ITS  REALLY  ALL DOWN TO ME  TO MAKE  THE EFFORT  TO  GET OUT  AND  ABOUT  

YES  I HAVE  GOOD  DAYS  AND  REALLY BAD  DAYS    WHERE I DONT WANT  TO SEE OR  SPEAK TO  ANY ONE  

OR  GO OUT  FOR  4 OR  5  DAYS   , I DONT  HAVE  FAMILY  LIKE  YOU   MY PARENTS  DIED  WHEN I WAS  5  YRS  OLD  

FRIENDS COME  AND  GO   THEY SOON TIRE  OF  HELPING  AND  CALLING   , BUT  I AM  USE  TO IT  NOW  

HOPE YOUR  MUM  GETS  OVER  THE  SICKNESS  SOON  AND  DO  WHAT  EVER  MAKES  HER  HAPPY  

IN LIFE  , 

BEST  WISHES   J.

Went to the party for the staff, went late and left early. Those that knew the significance of the day were great so I did the “expected” thing 

Yesterday morning i went to a special church service offered by my uncle , he married Jill and I and conducted her funeral  it was emotional yet so beautiful at the same time. Had lots of texts calls etc today on the anniversary of Jill’s passing and I feel ok I guess, can’t believe it’s  been a year but it has ! My god! A year without her 

So a new year , Time for me? To rebuild? Who knows? Grief has no time limits but I feel strangely ok tonight so to all you beautiful people who have carried me through the darkest time in my life I hope this new year brings you some peace and some calm waters to navigate 

I will look out for the posts of the “ having a bad day “ family and continue to read the painful posts of the countless people stepping onto this awful road but a heart felt thank  you to you all again for everything, I couldn’t have got to this point without you 

Hello Yantibee,

Another first faced and so onwards. A deep breath and we do it.

i too feel similarly. It would be wrong for me to say I know how you feel because only you or I know how we each feel. But I do feel a calm has settled.

I’m sure there will still be moments of sadness that creep up unexpectedly but for now it’s another day and we face it as we all have done before, with everyone’s help and support.

love to all xxx

Today is my first anniversary without my mummy. It will then have been all the firsts, mum wisely told me they will be the worst. Just myself, my brother (who turned up!) and mums husband. A prayer from her vicar. A candle lit in a display made by my friend. Then home through a raging storm up here. Im going to mums sold house to cut some of her pear tree for grafting. Her beloved pear tree i bought her.  Mum will want me to stop the tears, she will want me to look out for her husband, as i always do and will, despite how i feel about him. I would like to have lightness without guilt. I love you mummy. Forever and ever until my last breath.

Thank you, thank you Maisiemae for sharing those beautiful thoughts. I haven't reached the first anniversary yet and am still overwhelmed by her loss. Yes, I too want lightness without guilt and like you am forever and ever. Thank you and bless you.

flamingo