Having a bad day

Hug to you Yantibee.

X

I'm not going to wish anyone a happy new year -  that would be pointless - but I will hope that for all us we have more good news and happy events this year.

Thank you my virtual family for being here for me, and each other. You all have a special place in my heart.

Love to you all.

X

Yantibee. Will be thinking of you tomorrow. 

Hi All, 

I have been reading, but have felt unable to post. This Christmas/New Years has  been much harder than last year. I think I was probably on autopilot last year. It's almost as though my heart was saying that if I didn't post it had never happened. My brain says "but it did happen", and I realise that I'm the only one who can convince me to move forward. Does that make sense to any of you? 

We've all pretty well had a full year of 'firsts'. How do we honour our loved ones I ask myself. Maybe by starting to accept. Accepting that they're not here in a physical sense. Accepting that they won't walk through the door. Accepting that we're still here. That we haven't sunk without trace, though it feels like we have sometimes.

My Resolution for 2018 is to honour Alan's memory, and show him that I'm as strong as he ALWAYS believed I was. That I'll always love him, and that our life together was a good thing. 

So from now on I'm  going to make some decisions about my life going forward. I may move, but I'm not going to beat myself up if I change my mind. I'm going to build a new life for myself. 

I'll stay on here with you, my virtual family, but I may not post as often. You kept me sane when I thought I was losing my mind. And offered unconditional love and care. I hope you feel I was able to do the same for you in my small way.

Maisiemae, you once said I was a lioness. I've decided to learn to roar! 

I Love You My Friends, and don't forget, I'm not disappearing completely. If you have need of me just shout.

Sue

Xxx

Sue, go and be proud, free and love and be loved x ps my real name is not joyce adams!

Maisiemae, 

Haha haha! Took me a minute to click!! Xxx

Yantibee how are you holding up today? Jx

Yantibee will be thinking of you tomorrow.  Please remember that we are all with you in spirit, holding your hands.  I hope that your works do will not be too bad.  If it gets too much just slip away and have 5/10 minutes on your own somewhere quiet.

X

Thank you to you all for the kind words and thoughts for today , my youngest arrived at our family home on Monday to be with me at anniversary hour our lives changed and my eldest arrived at midnight to be with us, as the clock ticked to 00:22 this morning we stood out on the driveway lit by a beautiful full moon and we stared at the brightest star in the endless sky and held each other tightly, all with tears in our eyes thinking of that night just one year ago. It was beautiful sad emotional desperate and bonding all at the same time , my mind drifted to you special people too as you have all been on this awful trip too but to be with my boys was the only way it could be and so it is done, one full year without hearing that voice, seeing that smile, looking into those eyes or feeling those arms around me for a hug , wow I can’t quite believe it, how have we survived? But we have 

2018? What has that in store? Who knows but I will keep you posted on how we are, I will look out for you kind wonderful people on this site and I hope a new year is kind to you all , thank you all for your patience your kindness your advice and your time to read ...it’s meant more than I can ever tell you 

Yantibee that's beautiful. 

Your post moved me.

Jx