Having a bad day

E. I totally understand, feel v similar. nobody can take the place of our mums, its exhasperating that despite doing all the things necessary, others dont quite get the fact every single thing means the end is clearer but the pain intensifies with a pointlessness. My drive has waned, i want mum to egg me on, i want mum to say well done, someone to hold my hand and tell me ive done it right and fought off all the rubbish thrown at me getting in the way of doing it right for her. So what now? an indefinable depression. I hope this is just a phase perhaps we have to go through. Did all the battle help? what i would do for an innocent not knowing 24 hours with mum. How can we unknow what we know and unsee what we have seen and unfeel what we have felt. Not wishing ill mental health but grief seems to be a period of bad mental health.  Perhaps other countries have it right, in UK chin up get on with it, i want to punch anyone who thinks i should be over it, in Greece, wear black for a year, like an L plate for grief. Im going to wear my L plate for grief and will hold the hand with anyone else who wants to connect on that level x

Sue - hug from me on the first anniversary of your Alan's passing xxxxx

Dear Sue,

Huge huge hug, thinking of and with you. I agree, thoughts don’t diminish, memories are as strong as ever, both good and bad.

Love to everyone xxxx

Elenium,

Never apologise for how you are feeling.

We are all still grieving, people do expect us to be over it by now don’t they?

It doesn’t get easier, it just is different and I can honestly say I miss bob more every day.

Ducks to it again.

Hold tight, hopefully a better day tomorrow than today. That’s what I hope for.

Love to all.xxxx

MM so well put as ever.

Bobles agree tis worse and December will be awful here.

Sorry posts so short.  Dad care demands and I've hurt back. Want to tell Mum.

Jx

Elenium and Maisiemae

I am so sorry you are feeling so low. No matter how much time has passed the loss is heavy and doesn't go away.  December is the worst month for me as I lost dad on the 21st.  It will be 3 years this December and it seems like yesterday.  I  dream of dad very often and there is no day that goes by without thinking about him. Now that mum is sick this whole situation is unbearable.  I don't want to be an orphan I can't imagine life without mum. I can only imagine how hard it is for all of you. Every day I  am thinking if I was given the choice I would take this from mum.  Just so she can be healthy again.

Oh Sue, I'm sending you a big hug.

Thank you everyone, for your messages, it helps.

It's been a slightly better day today although still not looking forward to going away tomorrow.  Just want to be with family these days.

I wish this struggle was lessening but it doesn't seem to be. I suppose there are longer gaps between my despair but when it hits it's still as bad as always.

Libertys, I am sending you a big hug too as I think that you need it.  I completely understand.  

Hugs to all.

X

Sue, sending you love and a hug , I fear the anniversary of losing Jill and it’s on my mind a lot lately so I hope today is as bearable as it can be for you, I can’t believe a year has passed !! 

Thinking of you Sue.

Xxxx

Hello Yantibee,

Totally with you on the anniversary and dread it.  Memories still so fresh.

As for Christmas, well, it’s all a pretense for me for my family’s sake.

Xxxx love to all.

On with the day