Having a bad day

Yaaay!!!

Big Hugs 

Sue xx

Hello Elenium,

That is such brilliant news, amazing! So happy for you.

On with the day, and the week and life!

Love to all xxx

Hello Elenium,

The people who bought your mums house sound lovely and compassionate, how comforting. But.. 

Do you think the full moon affects moods? Not sure if I do but

I had such a sad teary weekend, I try not to dwell on things but it’s a year ago this week we were told no more treatment ... maybe your feelings were intensified too?

Xxx

Hi Elenium 

What fantastic news about your husband 

So happy for you both !!!! 

Let’s hope the sun starts to shine back into your life.....it’s been a very tough time , enjoy each other and thank you for sharing your good news x

Thank you everyone.  It so nice to have good news rather than crap.  I even won a free lucky dip on the lottery!

The people who bought mum's house gave me a bunch of flowers, they are lovely.  I'm pleased they bought her house and I think mum would be too.

We've got my niece's wedding tomorrow and we can now celebrate instead of worrying.

Hugs to all.

X

Stuuuuuuupendous news Elenium. Xx

Love to all, 

Not having a very good day today.  I have to go away for work on Monday for a few days and I really don't want to.  I've got to go with my boss, who is a dick!  He is making me miserable.

I need mum to say or do the right thing and make me feel better but she's not here and I don't have anyone else like that in my life.  My husband is there for me but he wants to fix me and doesn't understand that all I really need is for him to give me a hug and tell me it'll be ok.  I've told him this many times over the years but he doesn't get it.  That's OK because before I had mum and she made it alright. And now I don't.  I've tried to explain that to him today but I still don't think he understands.  I'm feeling very low and I know that he gets frustrated as I'm not 'getting better'.  He says that I have lost interest in living (not that I am suicidal  just that I am not interested in anything) and that I am in despair.  I don't think that I have lost interest in living it's just that everything is an effort.  Every day I force myself out of bed.  It's not getting easier.  It's not getting harder.  It's just the way it is. When the sale of mum's house went through I felt like a weight had lifted and I was hoping that I could start to get on with the rest of my life, but it was fleeting.  I miss mum every day.  Although husband does understand to a point (as he's just lost uncle, who was like his dad) he doesn't understand completely as mum and I were extremely close and spent a lot of time together.  He didn't/doesn't have the same relationship with his mum/uncle.  I have this huge hole in my life and it feels like it will never go away.  All I really want to do is crawl in a hole somewhere and not think.  I'm sure that you all understand that.

Sorry for the self pity.

Hope you are all ok.

X

Elenium,

I'm so sorry to hear of your struggles. It never seems to go away does it?!

As to your hubby, have you ever read the book Men are from Mars Women are from Venus by John Gray? If not you should. It's about how our minds work in a completely different way. It says that when you tell a man you have a problem or worry, they're hard wired to think that you're asking for a solution that they have to provide, when all you're doing, as a woman, is offloading and looking for a bit of care. 

I know what you mean about crawling into a hole as well. It's easier than thinking about the HUGE loss you've experienced. Thinking hurts too much. 

All I can do is send you a Big virtual Hug,

Love Sue 

Xx

Hi All,

At 2am tomorrow morning (the 20th) it'll be exactly a year since I lost my Alan. 

I've been doing nothing but thinking about him and missing him. Every. Waking. Minute. And in my dreams. 

I had plans to go out tomorrow with my friend so I wouldn't be home by myself. Fate had other plans. I've come down with a rotten cold and feel like death warmed up. AND it's meant to rain here tomorrow! I've had so many colds this past year. Normally I might get 1 or 2. I guess my body isn't as healthy as I thought. I'm just staying in the warm, mainlining Lemsip with added brandy. 

I just want a hug. From anyone.

Sue xx

A huge hug or you Sue.

Elenium a hug for you too.

Jx