Having a bad day

I don't think any of us are feeling any Christmas spirit this year. It will be a sad, sad time.  I bought some Christmas cards today so I'm trying but not sure that it's working.  I've got to do this for my children, but it's going to be crap.  Was talking about it to GS today, about the traditions we usually follow and whether we  should still do them.  We have decided to continue with them, but it will be hard.  I'm sure you all feel the same.

I guess we'll all be posting on here over that period...

Hi all,

How are you?

I am struggling.  I'm currently off work with food poisoning but can't bear the thought of going back.  My boss is an idiot and is making life difficult for me but I also feel like I'm losing control of the situation. At times I just feel completely overwhelmed.   I'm not saying that I should be given an easy ride at work but you would think that with everything that's happened they would cut me a bit of slack.  They talk the talk at work but don't actually mean it. 

My husband is completely stressed out about his mum and won't talk to me, my youngest daughter is having problems at school and my dog is getting worse.  I just can't take anymore.  I feel like if one more thing happens I will break.

I want mum.

Hi Elenium, sorry to hear your not well and all the other stuff too . 

Things not so great here, feel really down I guess it’s just due to the time of year but I just feel so flat. 

Working like a dog due to staff problems but in a way that’s good as it keeps me occupied but it’s the time on my own that’s hard...I miss my wife! My soul mate my friend and it hurts . 

I had to attend a funeral on Monday , a friend of the family passed away sadly, he was 78 and cancer took him too . The mass was in the church where Jill and I married in 1998 and it was really emotional for me but not because this chap had passed although that was very sad as he was a true gentleman and I had known him for 40 years but all I could see was Jill on our wedding day ! Strange what the mind and memory can do 

Then I needed to go shopping later in the day and was confronted by the tidal wave of Christmas stuff obviously but it made me feel angry !!! The cards”for my wife” almost made me burst into tears in the shop, I wanted to get cards for my boys and their partners but it was too upsetting so I didn’t , is it me or do you feel like that? I love Christmas normally but not this year 

Anyway I am going away to see youngest son on Sunday morning he has got his first house just outside lowerstoft with his lovely fiancé so this cloudy time has a silver lining, I need a hug from my big baby boy , eldest is back working in Scotland for two weeks so won’t see him for a while so will be really nice to spend time with my youngest 

Hope the week treats you all well as you all deserve some sunshine in the darkness of grief 

Take care my online family, I read everyday to see if anyone checks in would be great to hear from the “family” 

Oh Yantibee, I'm sending you a big hug.  This time of year is just shit.  Although I have thought about mum not being here for Christmas I don't think it's really hit me yet. I think I may be in denial about it.  I'm so sorry about your friend.

I've managed to buy some Christmas cards but haven't been able to look at family cards as don't want to see the mum ones.  It's not just you.

I'm glad you're going to see your boy. I hope you have a lovely time.

Normally I would throw myself in to work so that I don't have to think about everything else but I hate it there so it just makes everything worse.  I thought it would be a fresh start but it's just awful.  They don't really care about my wellbeing, although they say they do.  They've proved that to me several times in the last few weeks. I'm dreading going back.

Hugs to all.

Dear Yantibee and Elenium

I am sending you warm hugs and wanted to let you know that you are not alone feeling this way. Ever since we had dad's funeral on Chrstmas eve 3 years ago this period of the year is the worst. I  don't really celebrate any more. 

Elenium I am going through a difficult time at work too and I don't think people at work care about my wellbeing either. I  am under pressure to take more responsibility as my manager goes away next month for surgery. I am not in a position to take more on I can hardly concentrate on my own stuff. I  may not even be around to carry my tasks let alone any one else's.  I  think I may have to speak to HR.

I hope for both of you the rest of the week is better.

Thank you libertys.

I think that unless you've been through what we have people just don't understand and they expect us to be 'over it' in a few weeks.  I don't think we'll ever get over it.  I don't want to.  

Where I work they are big on Diversity and Inclusion and my team leader is actually the lead on it for the organisation, but I think she does it because it looks good on her CV rather than because she actually believes any of it.  She has made it clear that she thinks the problems I have with my boss are unimportant and that I am overreacting.  I too think I will have to go to HR but not sure it will do any good.  

I think you should go to HR libertys, you've got to try.  I've requested counselling again and I've the first appointment in a couple of weeks.  I'm hoping that helps.  Have you tried counselling, do they offer it through your work?

I just wish I had a time machine.

Dear Elenium 

I think in the corporate world some people tend to do things to perk up their cvs.  Few do that sort of thing and actually believe in the principles. 

I have started counselling via the NHS my GP gave me a form to fill in and I had my first call yesterday.  The lady on the phone will call me again within the week. She was lovely and very patient as I was in tears for most of the call. 

We do have an employee assistance programme at work but I have not used it yet as the NHS have moved pretty fast to my surprise. 

Depending on how things will progress with the NHS I may have to try the employee assistance programme too.

I hope the counselling helps libertys.

A time machine!! Oh hell yes how I would love that my goodness 

What I would give for the chance to hold her again ....so sad I hate it 

Hello,

This is a thread I read quite often as I have a lot of bad days and it sometimes helps me so thank you for that.

I’m not sure this is really the right place to post..... but I will try and see

Today (despite not even being 7am) I am having the worst day. My mum has been battling womb cancer with liver mets for nearly a year, we had been told it was incurable back in the spring however later this summer we had a miracle - mums treatment on her women worked well enough to make her operable and the liver mets weren’t secondary but another different primary (who knew having 2 types of cancer could feel such good news!). She had a full hysterectomy and were hopeful surgery on the liver would be possible and then she would be cured! Then last night we got a call to drive to the hospital today as they no longer think this..., they think the lover is inoperable and I think today is going to be that awful conversation of how many months/ years. I am so scared. I thought we had beaten this. She has fought the odds so much and won! My mum is my best friend. We have so many years left we are meant to spend together.

In addition to as some of you have said - work are being ass holes. Back when Mum was first diagnosed they were very understanding but now it seems to have worn off. Like some of you have said I am being asked to take on so much extra responsibility & hours and I physically and emotionally just can’t. I don’t want special treatment but maybe just don’t push me quite to breaking point? I have emailed my really awful boss last night letting her know I won’t be in today as I have to be at this appointment with my Mum (she lives about 300 miles away), I am due to be presenting to a team of 60 this AM and I know she is going to say I am damaging my career not going..... but what else could I do? She is my mum and god knows what news we will get today! And also as if I would be able to stand presenting knowing what she has going on? Tbh the thought of even going back to my work at all is horrendous......

Sorry..... a long rant....... and i guess not much that can be helped with...... but I feel like nobody I know understands