Having a bad day

That's good abut the carers Jenny.  You need the help. And the rest.

I've been thinking about Sue too.

I'm determined to get mum out tomorrow even if it's just going up to the shop and back.  But I really want to get her to the hairdressers or out for lunch.  All depends if she's havng a good day or not.  I text her earlier and she said she wasn't too bad today.  Fingers crossed.  Going to talk to mum about maybe having aromatherapy too.

Mum's having a bad day today. A lot of pain.  She keeps crying and it's breaking my heart.

How are you all today?

Hello all. Sue big hugs. Elenium jenny et al. Oh not sure what to say or who i am anymore. I. At hospital waiting to go and see mum again, spent an hour sobbing in the chapel at the hospital, dont know where else to go, felt good to howl. Im feeling sorry for myself and mum. Was with her husband for the rest home assessment this morning and he sobbed, i dont even like him, cant be horrible though. Another situation having to put me on pause. I feel bad even thinking if myself. Mums now lost nearly 6 stone and is as weak as a newborn and very weary. She said she wants to die holding her husbands hand which is sweet but it hurt. Thankfully she has two hands!! Hes been inappropriate with mums friend and told me his plans on who to be with after she dies. See my point?! Cant tell mum. Woe is me and i know elenium you are having it tough too. By wishing the pain to be over means they have gone. I cant live without mum but mum always said if you love then enough let them go.... Love and best wishes all xxx

Oh maisiemae, how awful.  I don't know what to say about your mum's husband.  In a weird way perhaps that's his way of coping???  It's a crap way but everyone is different.  

I completely understand that you don't want your mum to die but this is no life for them.  I so desperately don't want to be without my mum but I can't bear to see her like this and I know it's only going to get worse. It's so bloody unfair!

I think my dad needs to come and get her.  Have you ever seen The Ghost and Mrs Muir?  It's my mum's favourite film.  At the end she's an old lady and when she dies he comes to get her (he died young ish) and when she gets up she's young again and they go off together.  That's what my mum wants.  She wants to be young and with my dad again. I can't begrudge her that and hoping that they'll be together again helps me.  I know it's probably all claptrap but whatever helps...

Thinking of you all today.  Sending hugs and needing them back, so badly...

Well, he's still here, but only just. He can't speak at all & the only way to keep his mouth moist is to syringe a drink in a ml at a time. 

I came home a bit earlier tonight as I'm exhausted & need to get a decent sleep.

I'll be back there in the morning. His son & 2 of his Granddaughters visited yesterday, & on Thursday he & his brother reconciled. 

I just want it over for him

Hugs xx

Sending you love and hugs Sue. X

Thinking of you all.

Read your posts heartbreaking. 

How long are we to be in this struggle.  I have the weekend off but sister texting.

Mum made it downstairs. 

Wishing you all peace..

Jx

Elenium big hugs in the bucketloads back, Sue may this final step be short for alan and you/loved ones and love to jenny.

Elenium - was thinking of our mums and pain, has your mother been offered a driver (Not Driving Miss Daisy) - it constantly drips pain killer/etc into the patient via veins. Think thats next for mum. Mum had loads of v good injections from community nurses. I also keep thinking of people going through cancer who live alone without family, its hard for us but to do this alone. I just know you understand and get it, its so important to me. I cried at mums bedside and told her i just dont knoe what else i can do.  We stroked each others hair to comfort onr another and she told me i had done more than anyone could expect and more. Im still looking to be loved. Am i selfish? Just home to London. The lights are on. Home alone tonight. Phew. Tomorroe night Cat stephens gig, no doubt i will cry through that too. Ive been non tearful for about a week or days but today whoosh im all over the place. Night all. Hugs and hand holding xxx

Have a good night x

Maisiemae the driver sounds interesting.   Hope your Mum finds it helps.

Mums patches not working so hopefully upping dose.  

The hair stroking sounds lovely. 

Am off to sleep. Enjoy your me time. 

Jxx