Having a bad day

Oh Jenny. Your poor dad, It's so unfair to have had to gone through everything with your mum and to now have to deal with this, words fail me.

We just found out that my husband's uncle (he's like a father to him) has bone cancer.  He's had prostate cancer for some time and we thought it was all under control but it's spread to his bones. He didn't tell anyone.  Husband hasn't seen him for a while because of his mum being ill and when he went round he said he was so shocked.  His uncle looked like a concentration camp victim.  He's lost so much weight and is in so much pain.  Husband phoned for an ambulance even though uncle didn't want him to.  He's in hospital, slightly better, but just waiting for results from scan to see how bad the bone cancer is.  Also found out at weekend that husband's cousin (grew up together and also very close) has been diagnosed with lung cancer and nothing they can do.  He's going into a hospice shortly.

I'm not sure how much more we can take.  Our family is taking such a battering. I know that we are not the only ones but it just feels like there is no way out, no light at the end of the tunnel, only darkness and misery.

Oh my god !! Can't believe what I am reading!! Elenium and Jenny this is awful words fail me honestly they do I simply don't know what to say???

I was going to post tonight about feeling low due to another sad anniversary but my sadness has been put into perspective by reading this, you are taking a real battering and in a way I can empathise after what we went through here but my heart goes out to you both ...as I say sadly no words can express my feeling as I read these posts . I hope the darkness and misery lifts at some point , you are all such good people and don't deserve this it's truly awful , take care all of you 

i cant articulate how i want to support you, words dont feel helpful right now, the journey so familiar certainly seems to be repeating, but already with wounded heart,,, please know that this family is here, at all times,, the suffering is off the scale of fair. Love to you both always x

Hi all,

More bad news, although we knew it was coming.  Uncle's bone cancer has spread to his spine and legs. He's refusing treatment, which I completely understand, but is also refusing medication for the pain.  He is being a very stubborn old man.  Husband is the only one he'll listen to but it's hard for him.  At least I've been able to tell him what he's entitled to, etc.  Heartbreaking to have to go through this with someone else.

Also found out that cousin has died. 

I hate this fucking disease!

Oh my god you are going through a hell as a family that won't seem to stop I am lost for words Elenium, there is nothing I can do to help I know as we have never met but my heart goes out to you and your family , I am so sad and sorry this is happening to you as you have been through enough, we all have but you seemingly more than most, this disease is evil I hate what it has done to my wife myself and my boys and what it's taken from us and I know you all feel the same 

We are all here for what that is worth here to listen and care I just wish I could do more 

Take care my friend x 

Hello Jenny,

It is so hard, totally understand your dad's feelings.

But so so hard for you too, still.

Xxx

Hello Elenium,

You do wonder what next don't you and how to carry on.

So so sorry, for all of you.

Hope your uncle listens and accepts help.

Deep breath and you do carry on, although at times I know I have felt like running away but that wouldn't let me escape in reality.

It's a bastard.

Love to you all.

Xxx

Oh Maisiemai 

You need some kind time too, but thank you. I know what you mean about grief sweeping in on you, I think I am sad now because bob is missing so much that he loved and of course I am/we are missing him completely 

Hope your dog is on the mend and you have a gentler time.

Xxxxxx

Thank you for you messages. Just being able to come on here helps and knowing that you are all there for me.  It's really hitting my husband hard.  We'd just got to the point where his mum is ok and we don't have to worry so much and this happens.  We'd had one week of everything ok and then this!  I'm trying to be there for him as he was for me.  Told the children last night.  I think they were just a bit shell shocked.  They seem ok but that will probably change.

I saw this today and thought that I would put in on here as it says it all...

I had my own notion of grief.

i thought it was the sad time

That followed the death of

Someone you love.

And you had to push through it

To get to the other side.

But I'm learning there is no other side.

There is no pushing through.

But rather,

There is absorption.

Adjustment.

Acceptance.

And grief is not something you complete,

But rather, you endure.

Grief is not a task to finish

And move on,

But an element of yourself -

An alteration of your being.

A new way of seeing.

A new definition of self.

I hope that everyone has a good weekend - as much as possible.

Hugs to all. X

I just don't think I can take anymore.  Uncle's cancer has spread to his liver.  He's only eating a bit of ice cream and jelly, barely drinking.  This is how mum was towards the end.  It's just brining back too many memories. 

I just want to run away and hide.  I have no fight left in me