Having a bad day

Sounds an amazing tranquil place Elenium, a good place to be.

Xx

I'm so sorry you have to cope with this, so soon after losing your dear  husband. He would be proud of you, though I expect not a bit surprised, to see how kind you are being to his undeserving Mum.

Personally, I suspect I would have dumped her sometime ago, or at least scaled down my concern. That just shows what a lovely person you are compared to me ( or most of us I dare say ).

I just hope and pray that life deals you a bit better hand soon.

Xxx

Niobe

Jenny, i do wonder who will care for me when and if i cant care for self, certainly not my sister, although i would still help her if necessary: elenium, you just rock with yr positive attitude:  (lesley) you are a caring human being and i think you are also doing this for Bob even if he would have been able to tell his mother what for, she is a naughty naughty lady and the nurses very wise! Sue how are you and yr racing and travel plans? Yantibee, our true gent. Hopefully on yr cruise soon and the boys are settled in Scotland and Norwich and the new reataurant is doing well? X all. I post less, have bad days and still struggling being the person some have chosen to hate in my family. I am the voice of truth albeit my truth and i dont really lnow how else to be. It still hurts though as im executor for mums affairs and poa for her husband, tricky times x

Definitely don't have her at home. Visit her but no. Not at home. Hopefully in a hospice?

Dad poorly today.

Jx

Lesley,

Even the consultant had to remind Alan he wasn't their only patient!! So word had obviously gotten round!!

I found a couple of voice memos on my phone last  week. I'd forgotten what they were. The first  was Alan telling me how glad he was to be away from the "Gestapo". His name for the staff!!! He thought they were totally useless!! 

The 2nd memo shocked me a bit. It was me, the day I walked out of my flat after he'd called me a F***ing Useless Moron!! It was when I was trying to cope with no help about 4 weeks before he died. I was crying and saying to him (in the memo) that I wasn't sure if I'd let him listen to it or not. That I was at the end of my tether & that I wished he'd do everyone a favour and die!! It broke my heart to listen to it, and I've been having horrible dreams ever since. Just when I thought I  was doing better. 

Does this grip of illness ever leave us? 

Hugs to all

Sue xx

Selenium,

I know what you mean about peaceful. I go into the ruins of Coventry Cathedral to sit, and  no matter how many folk are about it has this wonderful aura of peace. It never seems to be vandalised or graffittied on. My Mum was a Jehovah's Witness and when she came over in 2009 even she found it very serene. 

Sue xx

Lesley, I agree with Jenny!! Having her with you would make you end up I'll and hating her!!

Sue xx

Hello all,

How is everyone doing?

Wanted to say a big Thank you all for your wise words and support, as always.

Xxx

Oh Sue, we all think and say things in the worst of moments and times.

MIL is apparently in the worst hospital on earth and the staff all neglect her (so not true).

I write things down when I am feeling angry/ alone especially with MILs behaviour. I think it helps us to park such thoughts, feelings, anguish and vent when there is no other way of doing this, a coping mechanism maybe. Try and park them again if you can and be kind and gentle to yourself. You so deserve it.

Big hug and hope those dreams get banished. 

Thank you for sharing it has really helped me.

We have all really been through it - such an understatement.

Xxx

Mum shouted at me one evening, i had let new carers in and was briefing them so as not to disturb very poorly mum. She proper lost it with me. I was so upset i said i loved her but she had hurt me, that i understood that she was so angry as she was dying and didnt want to But i needed 10 mins alone to calm down. She was so distraught she had been so angry at me when i had tried my best. I needed precisely 4 minutes before i flung myself into her arms. She never meant it, i was a little girl being told off but for no reason. Mum was such a kind lady with the biggest heart but couldnt understand why she had to suffer and leave us. I think i would be angry too. The honesty was the only way for mum and i to be. So Bobles, just be honest with MIL as she can take it x