Having a bad day

Bobles, 

Alan said the same to me more than once. I think it stems from fear somehow. 

Just Huge Hugs

Xxx

Oh Jenny, so so wish I could help.

Hope your dad feels a little better and you can rest a little more.

Xx

Xx

Bobles that was horrible for you to hear.  Very unfair.

Hope you feel better tomorrow. 

Dad had a fall yesterday and has a gash on his arm but is OK. ..just a bit more frail every week. 

Hug.

Jx

Thinking of you all and wish there were things to say and do to make it better for you ...we have all suffered enough but you still keep getting more !! It's unfair x 

Bobles, she doesn't really mean it.  You've been marvellous with her and Bob would be proud of you.  Don't doubt that for a second.  I think you've gone above and beyond actually.  She sounds very challanging but you are still there looking after her the best you can.  Some people would have walked away by now.

My MIL is slowly improving but SIL is going away for a few days.  She really needs it.  Husband is going to stay with his mum.  I have offered to help but he says he's ok doing it.  I can't force him to accept my help but part of me is glad that I don't have to do it.  Which is awful of me, I know, but it's just too much to cope with.  I actually just want to bury my head in the sand and not think about illness and mortality anymore. Or at least for a while.  Reality is too hard sometimes.

Hope everyone is ok and am sending hugs to you all.

X

Bobles, i rather think MIL hates herself and her situation. Not you. Painful for you to hear but I dont believe meant for you, angry words of an angry old lady. I think she projects all her anger and festering at others to stop her thinking of her own actions. She wants to make herself unlovable. When and if she is a little stronger tell her what she said hurt you but she isnt getting rid of you that easily. As Elenium said many would have walked away - you still have that choice if you want to. Not sure its in yr nature but you can know you have the power to if you choose so. You are lovely and silly old fool of a MIL isnt able to rise above the pain of self hate she has. easy words for me to say. xxx

Hello all,

I know you are all so right, But I cried. Pathetic

she has a very selective memory and  I did tell her that what she said was unkind to me and I do challenge her when she is rude to the nurses and staff , all she says "they/you know I don't mean it". Yeah right!

The nurses told me to have a night off yesterday which I did but tonight she was pitiful. To make me feel guilty? Maybe? I wouldn't walk away and I also understand her frustration and anger at her loss of independence; of course she is very poorly but she won't accept that staff can't come running at her slightest whim. There are other patients.

Jenny, I'm sorry about your dad, hope his arm is on the mend and you also get a rest, 

Elenium, your husband is looking after his mum, quite right, he saw how you loved and cared for yours and now needs to do the same for his;you also need some you time.

Take care all.

Lesley xxx

Lesley it's so difficult for you.

I don't know about you but I am uncertain how I'd cope in her place or my Mum's as she was or Dad now.

My sister said yesterday if she gets ill I'm not to care for her just leave her to "rot please". I think she means she won't care for me (not a surprise for me).

That said being rude to you is still abuse for however good a reason.  It hurts and must be draining. Always tell her if she's hurt you.

For each rudeness treat yourself to something good.

Caring is difficult enough.

Hug.

Jx

I completed one of the items on my list today.  I visited St Dunstan in the East.  It's a church that was bombed in the war and instead of repairing it they made it into a garden.  It's beautiful.  It soothed my soul.  I was there for about half an hour taking pictures but I will definitely be visiting again to just sit.  It's not far from Monument Tube station in London so if you're ever in that area I would highly recommend visiting.  So peaceful, even though there were quite a few people there. The whole time I was there I kept thinking how much mum would have loved it.  It didn't make me sad today though, it made me smile.

Hope everyone is ok and has a good weekend.

Hugs to all.

X

Hello,