Having a bad day

Hello all,

I think, hope it is the 5-7 month doldrums.

6 months to the day, Thursday, and date, 29th, that Bob died.

Went to my neighbour's funeral.

Visited mil in hospital. Every night, so tired yet again. I don't sleep.  Like us all.

BUT I have wonderful children xxxx

Still sad and tears today though

Love to all. Xxx

Yeah, maybe you're right.  

My mother in law had a fall on Wednesday.  She'd been lying on the floor for about 10 hours.  She's waiting for a hip replacement so has made her living room into her bedroom.  Her daughter was upstairs in bed but she didn't call her.  Just layed there all night freezing.  She didn't want to bother anyone.  When SIL found her MIL wouldn't let her call an ambulance or tell my husband.  SIL called aunt who lives next door.  Eventually she agreed to ambulance.  She's in hospital now with a chest infection.  Turns out there's other things wrong with her that she's not told us.  Her sister knew but she wouldn't let her tell us.  Husband going mental.  She'll be ok if she does something about everything wrong with her but she won't.  It's like she's in self destruct mode.  We can't lose her too so soon after my mum.  I know that she's probably had enough (not been well for a few years now) and is maybe depressed but she's got to do something.  

When my mum was at her lowest she said that she would have swapped places with MIL anytime.  I just feel so helpless.  My husband has got to have a very honest conversation with her.  I told him to tell her how it would affect her beloved grandchildren. She thinks the world of them and maybe we can guilt her into doing something.  Just don't bloody need this.  She can help herself but won't.

Elenium,

I am a little ahead of you on the mil front.

Your husband must talk to her while she can still comprehend. I know how exhausting it is. I know we really don't need this do we? But ...

My mil had 2 falls last week. We were  In a&e all Friday night, she was admitted 9am Saturday on a dementia ward. Has gone down hill mentally really seriously really quickly. I'm not saying that will happen to your mil but would be so much kinder to put things in place now. I did try but mil refused. Mil Won't ever return to her flat now as she has been assessed as not safe to do so even with night sitters, when available!!! Waiting to find out where she will be placed. 

Such a sad demise that I so didn't want to happen even though she is soooooo difficult. 

Love to all xxx

So sad to hear about the MILS. Stressful for all and heartbreaking.

5 months tomorrow since Mum died. I nearly texted her just now as at her place in Sussex.  Used to update her on our work here.

Why does my brain do that? 

Love to all.

Jx

6 months today since Jill died .... can't believe it's been so long it seems like yesterday, the pictures in my mind as I close my eyes are not good it's just still so raw so sad and so desperate. I know out there you are all feeling the same so just posted to say I know how it feels and to give you all one of our viral hugs 

No words today.

Hugs to all.

X

Hello all,

It's such sad anniversaries  that we're marking. Comforting to know we are all as we were then, with each other, supportive of each other , and still with such love for our wife, mums , partners and husband.

My birthday tomorrow too. Yantibee, I know you've been there xxxxx

Ho hum.

Love to all xxxx

Elenium,

I know ....

Big hug.

Xx

Hi Bobles,

I'm so sorry to hear about MIL. No-one deserves the outcome that seems inevitable, no matter how difficult they are. Alan was the same. My heart broke for him despite him being his own worst enemy. 

I hope you can at least have a peaceful birthday. My own birthday was only 8 weeks before Alan died, so I've got a while to contemplate mine. It's one reason I'll be in Majorca for mine.

I send my best hugs to my virtual family.

Love 

Sue xx

Went to see MIL yesterday. She's still not great.  She's so weak. It's scares me.  I spent an hour with SIL in cafe while she was sobbing her heart out.  It's the first time she's been able to do that since she found her mum on the floor.  I've known her since she was 7 and it feels like she's still a little girl to me.  I just want to look after her. 

My husband is now going through what I did.  He's so worried that she's going to die as she doesn't seem to want to fight it.  She keeps saying she's fine and everything's fine but it isn't.  I don't know if she's in denial or has just given up.  Someone needs to talk to her and it should really be my husband but he keeps saying she's not strong enough.  I think that he should talk to her now.  Unfortunately I can't make him.  I feel like I could say something but I know he would be angry with me.

Don't know what to do and almost feels like everything with mum again.  I've known her for more than half my life and I can't bear the thought of losing her.

It's just shit. Again.

X