Having a bad day

Elenium, i hear you loud and clear. i understand so very well and remain in a very similar position. May you have a fan in the office and i hope it helps.i too was wondering how our friends are on here. To be honest recently it feels less intimate but that isnt meant to be hostile to others. Just feels slightly less ' safe' . I will forever care for all but in particular my nucular (sp) family on here. Please be assured i may post less but if anyone needs support i will be there. Private or public msg. we are support Angels to each other for as long as needed. You are part of my tapestry now, forever entwined in my story. sticky hugs to you my friends x

HiElenium,

You are right and so is your husband. We all know we have to move forward but it's doing it. Definitely easier said than done. There is no book you can read on this and I don't think anyone can tell you how, it has to be a gradual process I guess. I live in the hope that the next day will be better, and I am sure the sale of your mum's house is why you are feeling like you are.

I have been told I need to soldier on.

Ref MIL I do feel like running away. Exasperating, exhausting, frustrating.....still got her heating on because it's free in her rent. I could go on. But I still feel sorry for her.

Take the biggest fan you can find xx

Love to all,  Yantibee, Sue,  Maisiemai 

Hi all

Sounds like we are all in a rut at the moment me included . Things are tough, eldest is in a bad state in his head and his emotions are all over, anger sadness guilt the whole lot. Just spoken to him and he said he is going to a cruse meeting tomorrow to try talk about things to someone unattached as I did but we will see. Youngest is preparing to fly the family nest so I am obviously upset about that , I guess I would be anyway as it's hard when they leave home but this time it seems worse as the looming cloud of loneliness creeps ever closer , we remain upbeat on the surface but underneath it's killing me the thought that he will be going away.

Solider on? It's all we can do I guess.....hard but no other choice, tomorrow will come. Love to you all I hope peace comes to our troubled hearts and minds at some point 

Hi All,

I agree, we all seem to be somewhat stuck. I've now had 2 counselling sessions and have another tomorrow. Like Elenium I feel drained the next day and all I want to do is sleep. Although, after last week's session I'm feeling a bit more like my old self. A bit lighter, if that makes sense. I actually watched some bike racing on TV  Sunday, and enjoyed it!! I spoke to my best friend last night & she said she could tell the difference in my voice. The heat's certainly not helping! I keep my bathroom sink filled with cold water and every hour or so I stick my wrists and hands in it for a few moments. I splash my face and neck too and just let it evaporate. I don't think I've ever drunk so much water!! It's the one time of year I have crisps every day as I don't use salt and I get cramps in my legs. My GP told me years ago that tonic water helps too. That's how the G&T was invented. In the days of the Raj the English hated the taste of Indian Tonic Water, which contains quinine to help in really hot weather, so they started adding gin to it, and hey presto!! 

Yantibee, our kids leaving home and setting out on their life journeys is hard enough, but with not having your Darling Jill there it must feel too much sometimes. 

Maisiemae, I think I know what you mean about others. I too don't begrudge anyone joining us, but just as it took time for our original little band to help, it takes time when others join. 

Jenny are you still away in Spain? 

Bobles, Well Done for helping your neighbour and your MIL.

I nearly forgot to tell you! I had a text from Wimpy Son on Sunday (Father's Day) saying he'd been thinking about Alan and was wondering how I was!! I was very brief & simply said I wasn't bad and that I'd started counselling. I asked after them and got a short ok reply. I guess he feels his duty is done for a while!! I hadn't heard a thing since March!!! 

Hugs to all,

Sue xxx

I 

That should have said GELL, not HELP!! Bloomin Autocorrect!!

Hello Hot Sue with chilly wrists, tired but gin laden, wimpy son of alan patience, feeling a little better fabulousness. How lovely to see you again. (I know my comment wasnt meant to be mean, just felt like i didnt want new on about two days) xxx

Yantibee also so lovely to see your name here.i do hope yr sons find their way and more change for you, exactly what u dont exactly want! You and darling jill taught them to love and be loved and to breathe deeply, struggling son will find his way, he is expressing in the only way he can. It must be distressing for you as well as him and his gf. Hope he finds a less harmful way to ease the pain. How tough! may you also find yr way through the deep mud of grief.

Hi all yes I got back on Thursday but went to mums cottage with my boyfriend til Sunday. 

Poor Dad not good. Bad nausea put fan near him and a bucket just in case.

He needs it to be cooler hope forecast for tomorrow is correct.

Love to all.

Jx

Feeling crappy. This evening was not good for me. So angry. I know I need to move on and I think I'm doing ok but then it all bubbles up inside me and I feel shit again.

It seems like our loved ones were the victims of the evil cancer and yet it goes on destroying lives as you can clearly see by the posts on this site alone but I feel like I am serving the time in an emotional prison for a crime I didn't commit !! It's hell, I miss my Jill so much it's unbelievable....6 months now served on a life sentence without her . I hope that wherever they all are it just seems like a moment to them that we are apart as they suffered enough already . Feeling sorry for myself and a bit lonely, empty house empty bed empty arms , you know what I mean I am sure ?! 

Can't really tell anyone else as they don't get it , thank god for you people , hope today is better x