Having a bad day

Oh Bobles,

What awful  news. And no, you're not  a Jonah! That's  a scary path to start down. 

All we can do is hope beyond hope with you that things will resolve themselves somehow.

Sending Huge Hugs

Love Sue

Xxx

Oh Bobles, how awful.  Of course you're not a Jonah.  You must never think that.

Sending you a big hug.

X

My biblical knowledge is hazy. Jonah was someone i feel you are not. You are a kind warm lady who is grieving the loss of her husband and trying to hold it together. You can support mil but you were not cause nor bringer of anything bad. Plse dont take all upon yourself and i hope so very much that you dont become a hands on carer and that there is also support for mil with you as dil not carer. Xxx

Ps sorry all ive been a bit absent. Im very broken. Busy and broken. Mum would go mad at me, she feared I would end up in hospital, i hope not but there are days. .... Bad days. Im not feeling sorry for self but im so tired, angry and ive changed shape of who i am, nothing will ever be the same.

Hello all,

Thank you as always to you all for being there.

 MIL does understand some of it, she has had haemorrhages but we haven't known why, now we do. 

In all honesty I believe  tlc is the best option, no treatment. She wouldn't survive even the journey let alone the biopsy and anaesthetic but it has to be her decision and they can't treat what isn't confirmed. Won't do a blood transfusion locally as her haemoglobin is too low, so again it would be a long journey.

Am trying to get care at the weekend and evenings for her. She is on a waiting list apparently, having been a little "challenging "in the past with regard to her carers. Not that that is relevant now.

Am on the same path again, just in case box etc etc.

Not sure I can cope with haemorrhage, that is what is the most concerning for the doctor, now me.

Need to let it all sink in, for MIL as well and have another talk with her on how we go forward.

Love to all xxxx

It does sound like tlc best now.  If so can Marie Curie provide care instead? Waiting list no good in these circumstances.  No idea what you do re haemorrhage?  

Sorry so stressful I know.

We're here if only virtually. 

Hug.

Jx

Maisiemae be nice to yourself....you are lovely and need peace and calm....

Broken is the new normal round these parts...

I know as I'm now the evil sister not the nice kind one!

How about aromatherapy or something else that relaxes and soothes...

Love.

Jx

I agree with Jenny, be nice to yourself Maisiemae. 

Hug to you honey.

X

My dear Maisiemai,

You have given your all to the love and care of your mum and also your family.

You are exhausted still, we all try to resume our pre cancer lives but we know we never can or will be the same. It's finding a way to accept the new life that we hate, it's no wonder you are feeling broken, we all do.

As Jenny and Elenium say, be kind to yourself as you are so kind and supportive to all of us. We're all here

Can't sleep myself now. Cup of tea beckons methinks.

Xx

On my way into work and feeling a bit not sad exactly but just not right.  I walk near mum's house when I take the dogs out in the morning and I looked over today and just missed her.  Just a bit harder today to get motivated and be ok about going to work.  I actually just wanted to go back to bed and pull the covers over my head.  I really just don't want to talk to anyone today.  And that's what I've got to do all day...

Hugs to all.

X