Having a bad day

Wish Mum was here I could read her your posts. She'd say something now that would make us feel better.

Love.

Jx

Yantibee, I wish I could do something to help.  Sending you a big hug is the best I can do.

Bobles, I hope your MIL's meltodown helped her and, in turn, you.

You're right about it being worse at the weekends.  When at work it's easy to focus on other things and not think about it.  At the weekends I would have been out and about with mum so miss her so much.  Even if I'm out with friends, it's hard as I used to stop off at hers on the way home and tell her about my day.  I just have to walk past her house now.

There's nothing wrong with speaking your mind, it can be very cathartic.

Hugs to all.

My mum always knew what to say or do to make me feel better too Jenny.

X

Mums do normally make everything better. Mum told me that I could now do it. Im not doing very well at it. I miss her so much, days of waves of sorrow, mad but I still cant really accept she has gone. It feels unreal and I dont think Ive entirely digested it. Yantibee, I realise the boys are to a degree going through the same feelings but may find it more difficult to articulate. I do so hope the boys find their way, they are going through these stages as are we. At times I feel totally and utterly mad With grief. sometimes the sun shining makes it worse. To wake up and not feel that gnawing in my mind and bones. Anxiety seems to have taken its grip on me. I hope for better days For us all. 

Bobles,

Is the only reason that you can't go to London for financial reasons? I'm not prying, I'd like to help if you'd feel ok about accepting it. Let me know

Sue xx

Hi all,

It's been a strange day. I printed off my maps for Norwich, and my one for London this morning. Oh how I miss him!! doing maps etc was something we always did together when we were going anywhere different.

Jenny, I'm very tired of it all. I spent Sunday paring back paperwork to just keep things I needed to keep. Felt strange, like I was paring back Alan's life & illness. Because of his hoarding he kept EVERYTHING!! I suspect he would have wanted me to do the same.

I sold his car last week for less than it was worth, because I've got my next car now & I can't afford to tax & insure both, & have nowhere to keep it off road. He'd have had an absolute Hissy Fit if he knew what I got for it. My new one is a 07 Meriva, so much easier for me to get in & out of.

Elenium, am I right in thinking you started your new job on Monday? If so I hope it went ok.Big Hugs to all

Sue xx

Unknown said:

Oh i have less patience and my hair is falling out. No doubt stress related. Happens 3 to 6 months later. im home now. its exhausting, house fell through, mums husbands children are circling, daddy this daddy that. They havent visited in 28 years, why now, im happy for him he hasnt clicked why, they all have gambling problems. ive sobbed this weekend at niece refusing to ever speak to me again. All so cruel. Ive cared for her for 34 years... It hurts. She has stubborn streak.  night all. Tomorrow is another day. pS SUE ive invited you to be friend so i can send my real name and mobile. x

xxx

I'm hot, sweaty, menopausal and cross.

Nothing to do with grieving. ...just letting you all know.

Aren't you the lucky ones!

Maisiemae I felt a snippet of anxiety that passed quickly recently.  It was a bloody horrible feeling though. ...I hope it's not coming back any time soon...

Is there anything that helps?

Shopgood I shredded mums medical letters recently it felt like I was throwing part of her existance away again....even though an unpleasant set of papers. Goodness knows how I'll feel about clearing her house in the future. 

It all sucks.

Jennyx

Oh Jenny me too. I just cant identify which is what. Generally grumpy and dont want to work anymore! Sue, I wanted to ask Bobles same question, pleased you are checking. Im a bit nervous about Saturday but Im not the shy retiring type really so sure i will be over it quickly. To call Elenium by her real name will be strange too. Im happy to be called whatever you want! X