Having a bad day

Elenium. has niece named her baby after yr mum for the middle name? lovely but also hard to hear someone else using her name in memory. Mum always said the firsts are hard, Mothers Day arghh and then next weekend mums birthday. Ive decided im going to buy a mothers day card and put on her memorial bench. Strangely my brother sent me one to put there. He missed most years when she was alive! I digress. I do hooe you get the new job and do plse let us know x

Maisiemae that sounds a good idea.  Think it's just Dad and I tomorrow so very weird.  We hope to go for lunch at Polish cafe as they were so nice to Mum once made her amazing pancake with fresh fruit and jam.  It's a plain looking place but it made a special moment.  I've got a card I'll write and put next to her ashes. 

V odd day though am sure.

Mums birthday is in July the day after mine we ALWAYS had birthdays together. 

Hope Cornwall and the bench are glorious. 

Yantibee how are you?

Jx

Had to do my food shopping today and everywhere I turned there was someone talking about Mother's Day or buying something for Mother's Day. I just couldn't get away from it.  For once I didn't cry but I feel really down and I don't want to speak to anyone.  I want to go and put flowers on the grave but I don't know if I'll be able to cope.  I don't know what to do.

I know just what you man about mothers day, even more "fun" as of course I still had to but mothers day stuff on behalf of my son too. Getting upset is just a sign of how much you loved her and just take a look in the mirror to look at the really good person she raised, take a deep breath and you may be surprised at how strong she made you.

<<hugs>>

Steve

Elenium. If you want to do flowers you do that. You will cope but you may cry, but you may cry becajse you didnt take flowers. Go see your mum and tell her everything. You may feel some relief and your mind may settle for a while to give some reprieved from the grief and sadness. Its going to be hard day for sure. Take good care of yourself as you are a mum and your mums little girl too. X

Thank you Steve and Maisiemae.  I think I will go.  I had already bought some daffodils for her, in case.  I'm sure I will cry but I think you're right, Maisemae, that I may cry if I don't go. I always bought mum flowers for Mother's Day and we always went out for lunch.  Maybe I'll go out with my daughter after I been to 'see' mum. Start a new tradition.

Hoping to go for lunch with Dad tomorrow. 

Supermarket was very OTT with mothers day stuff.

I want to write a card to Mum anyway and I will but have nowhere to put it. Might leave it with her ashes tomorrow in the house then spirit it away to the seaside when I go on Tuesday to her place to tidy up.

Do what you feel Elenium.  Your Mum knew you loved her when she was here.  Nothing can take that away not even this awful experience we endure now.

Hug.

Jx

Jenny, I wish I'd thought of getting a card for Mum to put with her ashes. I've got some pretty blank cards so I think I'll use one of them.

I had a call yesterday from the CRUSE coordinator to tell me I'm now on the one to one waiting list. 

I'm usually someone who is happy to go out & about by myself. Now, in the 'after', I convince myself that I don't need to go out. It feels 'wasteful' in terms of energy, petrol, enjoyment etc if that makes sense to anyone. 

I hate it 

Sue xx

Sue I'm not using an actual mothers day card just a nice blank one.

A nice friend of Mums just showed up for a chat.  V sweet distraction from awfulness. 

An aunt on my Dad's side sent a card too.

Nothing from my Mum's sisters. 

Jx

For Mum.

We carry on,

We miss you every hour of every day,

Emptiness surrounds us.

I will love you forever.  My heart won't mend.

Jennyxxx