Having a bad day

I find it very hard I can't give away or throw out Mums things without feeling like a lump of me is ripped out and thrown away..but I don't cry.  My sister is finding it much easier. When I object to some of Mums handmade stuff going to my sister's friend she gets angry. The toys to Trinity seemed right as there were a few of them and Mum spent less time on them.

Ps I'm the older child

Maisiemae hope your sister doesn't regret having nothing to keep? 

Dad ill today. I have to drive his car in for MOT eek...it's bigger than my teeny yaris. 

I wanted him to get rid of it. Sister wants to learn to drive and have it but hasn't booked lessons. It's such a waste paying insurance when it's not used!

Fed up am doing everything myself!

Really I want to curl up in a ball in a dark place and be alone.

Jx

Anyone doing probate....did you post an S27 announcement in the Gazette? Do we have to? Am pretty sure mum has no debtors as Dad managed all from his account. 

Jx

Hello Jenny.

I am just going through the probate precedure having just lost my soulmate. I am using a solicitor simply because I am still devasted by the loss of him. My solicitor has not advertised in the Gazette, and looking at the notes on probate, I think you will find that it is only necessary to advertise if you have reason to think there might be some unknown creditors in the background. I believe that if you are satisfied that you have a complete understanding of your late mother's financial details, there is no need to advertise.

Having said this, do please accept my condolences.

Thanks Delpherer. .glad to know it's not a requirement.  Mum's estate highly unlikely to have any unknown debts so I won't post one.  

Now we wait for probate.

Grieving plus administration ..a very odd state. 

Thanks again. 

Jx

Jenny. You can do anything, just breathe in when driving. My sister is no sister really. Just bound by birth. V sad. I think she snuffled what she wanted and slso i know mum repulsed her (not in the end but before she was sick) - she will never admit but she hugely judged mum. Ive challenged her on a number of criticisms of mum even when she was sick. jenny yes im on whattsapp And Facebook (for convience as dont like it but..). Your mums toys sound sublime and part of her very essenceso you keep them. Random sister friends can wait, maybe forever. Just emptied mums sewing box and im keeping cotton, thimble and pins. The sewing  box is going to a community sewing place in Cornwall, where her father is from. So ive thought it all through. No clearance company are going to my mothers house! Ok onto next bag. I can smell her! Towel to dog charity.... Anything i sell money to Battersea. Ice kept her awful poodle doorstop but how can i let him go?

Maisiemae. .hug...big hug

Ps check whatsapp when you get time.  Sent bunny photo.

Jx

Jenny,

The one thing that I did bring from the CRUSE evening was the idea of a memory box. I've always kept keepsake boxes, but they're just odd boxes from shoes etc & everything is jumbled together.

I went to The Works discount book place & bought 2 sets of their small cardboard suitcases. On Sunday I went through my other boxes & found all my mementos of Alan & our life together. He was the first man to ever write me a love letter, and he'd leave little notes around just because... I also got out all the condolence cards, his watch, his mobile phone, and I've tied the cards up in pretty ribbon and have put it all in 2 of the cases. I'll know that if I'm missing him I can find him in those moments. He used to buy me flowers just because, so I'm trying to do the same, even though he didn't buy them it still reminds me of him. 

His flat is now cleared & there's only a couple more days work outside apparently. Because of his hoarding I didn't have the same connections to his 'things'. Luckily his brother& I found most of the sentimental things. Steve is thrilled to have their father's wedding ring, and wears it on a chain. I have a 'hippy' bracelet made of leather & steel that I bought Alan in Mallorca when he bought me my commitment ring. It's about loose on my wrist so I'm going to see if I can have it made smaller.

Elenium, I too am having these awful feelings of rage, interspersed with feelings of impotence at my situation. I don't have any of my family to help, and Steve's the only  one in his family.  He was also the only one who wanted a memento. I just think to myself that the others will regret it one day. Their loss.

Big Hugs to all

Sue xx

I very nearly didn't go into work today as felt so awful when I woke up by I forced myself and I'm glad I did.  It was tough at times today especially when my niece announced the name for her new baby - she's given her mum's name as her middle name.  I wasn't expecting that and it knocked me for six.  I ran away to the toilet and had a bit of a cry then rang GS and she was crying too. It's lovely and I'm so glad she has done it.  Mum would be chuffed.  

We went to MIL tonight - she lives about an hour away - to give her flowers and Mother's Day card.  Don't think I could manage to go there on Sunday.  I think I will go to mum and dad's grave on Sunday.  That's the first time I've called it that.  Don't like it.

I don't feel angry anymore just really down.

I wish that I could do something to help you all, we are all feeling as bad as each other I think.

Sending everyone hugs.

X

That's a lovely thing your niece did.

Hug.

Jx