Having a bad day

Maisiemae I know you want her. Sorry your partner is not so helpful right now.  Mine asked me when I thought I would think about normal life again.  Never would be the true answer. 

We are all still here. Can't take away your loneliness or lost feeling....even with my magic wand.  But I'm here. .

Jx

Thanks J - that was a low low time. I cried so much i cant quite see this morning. I know you are full swing organising as well so thanks for MW swish (magic wand), its not like me to be that bad. Dark place. X

Maisiemae, my heart breaks for you Sweetheart. You've been through so much with your Mum, what with the travelling,  your brother etc.

This... aftermath is horrible. 

Bug Hug

Sue xx

Maisiemae, Everyone is allowed those moments, it's ok to give into them at times.  I think your mind needs it to heal. You know that we are all here for you.

I spent most of yesterday at mum's showing estate agents round.  It doesn't feel like she's there anymore.  Until yesterday I always said hello to her when I arrived, spoke to her whilst there and said goodbye but she's just not there now.  I don't know if that means that I've accepted it or she's moved on and is happy with dad now.  As I've said before, I'm not really sure what I believe but I hope it means that she's moved on and is happy with dad.

On a different note, I need some advice about flowers. This is the sort of thing I would have asked mum.  We are putting daffodils on mum's coffin - she loved them because they are so cheery.  How long do cut daffodils take to open?  I don't want to get them too soon or too late.  I was thinking of getting them today,  Any ideas?

X

Hi Elenium on the flowers subject I spoke to FD as Jill's favourite was freesias and they spoke to florists who got the flowers to be perfectly open before the day so they looked right. Daffodils in my house usually with the central heating take a day to open and last for two days in water .... hope that unprofessional flower knowledge in some way helps???! 

Maisiemae I know how you are feeling and it's so crap for you and all of us, I just want my Jill back .... it's so sad 

Hug to everyone x

I always asked Mum all flower related stuff too. Sister and I had to point at stuff in the florist as no idea what things were. One of the old fashioned "roses" we liked was in fact a cabbage! 

Am in mum's Italian boys cafe now. They won't let me pay. 

Maisiemae none of us slept last night. Sister and I have awful flashbacks and dad coughed and wandered about. ..not sure what my eyes look like.

I'll be silent message wise on Monday I think...maybe on layer on...

Why did I say I'd speak???!!!

Dreading sorting her stuff post funeral.

Ps  aunt initially in contact a lot telling us to clear trip hazards designate a bedroom for coats etc etc....

Asked her to provide soft drinks as we have done EVERYTHING.  now she's not contactable. .marvellous. ..

I want mum to have coffee and chat with. 

Jx

Ooh now flowers. Daffs can take a few days so to have them open you will need almost fully open ones or they will be asleep daffs. The tight bud ones wont be open in time. Even if they are open they will be fine for 3 days. Perhaps tie with yellow ribbon to a sheath of greenery so all long and wild pretty and free. Thankyou Elenium. Better today. Last night was bad. Mums gone from her house too but i can smell her smell. Truth is mum smelt of nappy sacks as she always had them in her pockets for her dogs! X

Jenny, you will do the eulogy beautifully. Take a deep breath, and sing the words for your mumma. Think of her supporting you throughout your life and all the times you were scared, what did she say? Think of those words.... Nobody could do it better than you, just as you cared for her so deeply. Could you sit and watch someone else say those words? Nope. Scary wary stuff but you will never regret doing it just as i did plus i carried mum with the boys. I too want to just tell mum everything. I promised i would bring her love bench to the fairy woods in Cornwall. We unloaded it today, now to put it together, chosen the spot so she can watch us in the garden and see the birds. But its just a bench! I want to show her. Xxx

Jenny, your mum would have been happy that you wanted to say something but if you can't keep it together that's ok, at least you will have tried.  The main thing is that you wanted to and you tried.  No one can ask more than that.  We'll all be thinking of you on Monday and willing you to get through it and speak the words you want to say.

Thank you for the advice on the flowers.  I had to go to 6 different shops to get them as everywhere was sold out.  I have some that are partly out and some that are still buds.  It's ony immediate family that will be putting them on the coffin, something just for us but I still needed to get 24.  I should have enough out fully by Tuesday.  Do think it would help if I sat them next to the radiator??  I can see myself going out again on Monday to get more open ones...

X

Maisiemae thanks that made me cry.

Elenium daffodils are lovely. ...we'll be willing them to be perfect!

Sister's nice ex is here talking to Dad.  Infinitely nicer than current knob head. 

Jx