Having a bad day

Maisiemae warm hug to your Mum (or swig of brandy whichever is her style..maybe both!)

Jx

Your poor mum. What a nightmare!

I'll let you know how I get on with the carers assessment.

Mum actually laughed at something on the TV earlier.  Not a big laugh but a small chuckle.  It was nice to hear it.

Hope you can get to your ballet.

That did make me smile about your mum's jumper.  That's precisely the reason I don't let my husband near the tumble drier...

I think the cat has a crush on you, sounds like it's a bit of a stalker... :-)

Popped round mum's this morning to give her breakfast and she seemed a bit better in herself, hopefully the anti depressents are working although probably a bit too soon for that.

I showed her the new John Lewis Christmas advert and she smiled a real smile. Only a small one but at least it was a smile.  Made my day.  :-D

Small joys as so so precious.

Yes they are. How are you maisiemae?

Not good im sorry to say. Mum is v low - i dont blame her. Im back with her tomorrow at the hospital. After the relief of her surviving the op the enormity as to how sick she is and the palliative care woman just called me and the cancer is so extensive she reminded me how ill mum is. I cant call mum and its agony not hearing her voice which is now a whisper because of the tubes etc. When im not busy helping her it hits me hardest. I dont want her to die but i dont think its long and that terrifies me. I cant see her going home but i hope so. I just asked palliative of a hospice would be better than home. Im not equipped to look after her when she is this sick, if love could heal she wouldnt be this sick. Bad moment my end and thankyou for asking. How are you doing today?? X

Oh maisiemae, I'm sending you lots of hugs.  It's horrible, horrible.  You don't want her to go but seeing her so ill and in so much pain is one of the hardest things you'll ever have to do.  I wish I could do something to help.  

Mum's not too bad today. Still in pain but her mood is slightly better.  I'm not sure if that's down to the antidepressants or not.  So that means I feel a bit better today.  My other sister is coming tomorrow and that helps me too.  I don't worry so much when she's here.

We're all here for you.  Message me if you need to.  

Maisiemae thinking if you and your Mum.  Am sure she knows how much you love her. 

It's indescribable the conflict between the  feeling you want your Mum here with you and thinking that the pain is something she'd rather be released from...

Hateful disease.

She's in the best place to have pain managed at the moment.   I hope she improves and is comfortable. 

Hug.

Jx

Mum laughed!  A proper laugh.  Then she told me off for making her laugh because she looks like the wicked witch of the west (didn't have her teeth in) :-D

Hi Girls,

Well, I thought I'd posted earlier, but it looks like it didn't upload

Maisiemae, I'm glad you're Mum came through the op. 

I read all the posts this evening & I felt so sad. Sad for us, the one's trying to hold everything together & not always sure we're succeeding. Sad for all the jumping through hoops we have to go through, just to get the basic help & care we & our loved ones deserve. And sad for our loved ones who are struggling with this Fu***ng Awful disease, knowing now that they won't win. 

Elenium, ask the palliative care team to arrange a visit from an Occupational Therapist. They may be able to order some equipment to enable your Mum to have a shower. Alan feels SO much better when he has a soak in the tub. 

Jenny, we've been using the memory foam mattress topper for a week & find it brilliant. 

At the Assessment the Community Nurse said she'd order a cushion so that Alan can sit on the sofa for longer, & thus spend less time in bed.

We weighed him today & were shocked to see he's gone down to 58kgs!! That's 9 & a half stone in old money. 6 months ago he was 78kgs!! He did manage a Farley's Rusk and cold milk this morning which raised my spirits.

As he was brighter I took a chance & nipped out. I never thought going to the chemist & Sainsburys would be the highlight of my mad social whirl of a life!! Lol

The Dietician came this morning, & after a chat said she'd order some Fortijuice as Alan really doesn't like the milky ones. She suggested adding soda water to dilute it & make a longer drink.

Finally a question. Has anyone else thought that there are an inordinate number of ads on TV during the day for funeral plans? Or am I just noticing them more.

Keep looking for your little piece of Blue Sky

Hugs to All xx