Having a bad day

Elenium it's so hard to know what's cancer what's a side effect from drugs and what's a separate condition.

My Mum's legs and hands are very shakey and weak yet she's off chemo for several weeks so I assume it's the cancer.  She's back on chemo from Wednesday dreading it.

Hope your Mum will be a lot more comfortable if she can have the stoma. 

Jx

Thanks Jenny,

Sending you and your mum lots of hugs for Wednesday.

Hi Girls, First of all Thank You for helping me keep my sanity.

Maisiemae, I'm glad you got back to your Lovely Mum. I wish her peace when she takes her final step. I wish you peace when she takes it. As to looking for all your departed pets, do you know of a poem called The Rainbow Bridge? If not I'll post it on here.

Jenny, steroids haven't been mentioned as yet. I hope you get some joy on Wednesday.

As to my situation. I've tried & tried to get Alan to eat or drink more but it wasn't happening. All that was happening is we were yelling at each other! I rang the surgery & the GP got here about 2.30. I had a chat with him before he saw Alan to explain what was going on. He had a chat with Alan about his fluid intake & said anything would help. I laughingly said Cider? He said why not☺ It counts as fluid & the extra calories will help. He said in his opinion drinking is more important than eating. He was also shocked when he asked if palliative care had been in touch! He said he'd contact the District Nurse team to come & do an immediate nursing check on Alan. About an hour after he left the nurse rang & said their 'Fast Track' nursing team would be here this morning. It's now 12.55. & so far not a peep! The GP also said he'd authorise whatever pain meds were necessary.

While the doc was here Alan was all sweetness & light, but within 15 minutes was back to growling. I'm ashamed to say I threw the box of codeine at him and told him to do everyone a favour & Die!!!! I then slammed the bedroom door, came in the living room& cried. Of course us yelling & me slamming the door terrified my cats, Bella especially as she's so nervy. 

Later we both said sorry & settled down. I was up twice in the night to help him to the loo. And this morning he got up & had a Farley's Rusk & cold milk. He said seeing the doctor made him realise that he's got to do his part too. 

We are so lucky to have a lovely bunch of GPs at our surgery. 

I hope everyone's day has at least one spark of sunlight in it. I'm keeping an eye out for mine.

Sue x

Sue thankyou, no operation for mum yet! Stayed with her until 230am then back there shortly. Scans done await decision to leave or operate and risk losing her on the table. Mum has emotionally bounced back but v weak, what she was throwinf up could be in a Saw/Exorcist movie, in the end one can sick up poo, sorry if anyone is eating, this isnt the cancer. I can do anything for mum but cant touch her false teeth, they are minging things, yet as she projectile vomited in the hospotal they shot out and mums dying, being sick, her teeth flying but we held hands looked at each other and laughed.

If anyone is offered steroids on a near end of life, take them! They gave mum 6 weeks of eating and some pleasure which for her is a trip in a wheelchair to morrisons, i pushed her around those isles like they were crown jewels the pleasure she from it. Sue, not to be a drug pusher but steroids upped mums mood and sounds if appropriate Alan could do with a few . Shopgood and elenium hope things are reasonable and now back to hospital for scan results and next stage. The waiting. Still want to smash face in of  gobby cow two doors from mum. Would make me feel wonderful. Love and peace for all. Thankyou thankyou x

The thought of your Mum's teeth going flying made me smile!! Alan won't even go outside since he's been home. 

I'll help you with gobby neighbour!! 

Where in Norfolk does your Mum live? I was born on the Suffolk/Norfolk boundary, & my Mum was born at Thorpe St Andrew. 

Hugs xxx

Sue,

I'm glad you and Alan are ok again.  I do understand - I think we all do - about getting angry with him.  Sometimes mum can be so stubborn I want to shout at her.

Maisiemae,

I think it's great that you and your mum are still laughing.  I hope I can have that with my mum. 

We went to the hospital this morning.  They've said mum can't have the stoma because her tumour is too high.  It would have to be put in so high that her body wouldn't be able to absorb all the nutrients it needs and she would get dehydrated.  They also said that mum is too frail now to have the op anyway.  Mum said she didn't want it even if they would do it.  They said that the pain she is having is from the spread of the cancer not the infections.  A lot of the pain is being caused by the nerves in that area being over sensitive but they can give her anti depressents that will calm them down.  I'm hopeful that they will also help her with her feeling down so much.  They've recommended some cream for the soreness too.  So not the news we were hoping for but hopefully her pain will be better. 

On the plus side mum has decided that the wheelchair is not so bad and quite comfortable and is now considereing going out in it.  She went for two hours without going to the loo this morning so that made her feel better too.

Hi all just been reading your posts and sympathising. ..

V funny about the teeth!

Steroids are indeed magic. ..not for long term as they have bad effect's too for those who have longer but our folks don't have long term so what the heck. Some cancers you can't take them though. Still ask when you see nurse...have to experiment with dose and take them in morning so they don't keep you awake at night.

The pain relief and palliative drugs are a godsend once you get them... it's just getting hold of people a nightmare.

I know what you mean about morrisons. ..just had small magic moment where mum chose her own soup in budgens courtesy of steroids and new wheelchair warm blanket plus coffee staying in....she SMILED just realised not seen a smile for months. ..maybe I don't smile at her? 

She now has disturbed vision and nausea so short lived but that was nice earlier ..

Glad Alan had the farley's and milk.mum has had same when swallowing bad.. .and baby food didn't stay. Farleys did.

Sorry stoma a no go. They should do all now to make her comfortable I hope.

Dad back from dialysis looking crap.  Think he's been crying.  Better go make sure he's OK. ..ish. .

Jx

I've just realised how long it's been since I've seen mum smile. Not a fake smile but a real smile.

Exactly what I meant Elenium...a natural smile...

I think it's over a year for mum...I doubt I've smiled properly at her either.  A magic moment.  Rare.

We take so much for granted when we're well! 

Hug.

Jx

You're right we do take so much for granted.

When we went to the hospital today and the doctor said how mum was too frail for an operation I looked at mum, I really looked at her, and realised that she looks small and old.  Mum's always looked a good 10 to 15 years younger and has always been very active.  She's always been a fighter with a very strong will but I don't think she wants to fight anymore.  I was feeling OK earlier thinking that at least the pain would be managed more effectively with the new tablets and it would be a bit easier for her, but it's just hit me that she's really not going to be around for much longer. Of course, I did know that and I've said to my siblings and other people about making the most of our time with mum as we don't know how long we've got her for but I don't think I really knew it in my heart. And now I do.

I've been brought up as a Catholic and we always went to church regularly.  I haven't been so much over the last few years as I'm not really sure about all that anymore but there has still been that part of me that prays when something's going wrong or when I don't want something to go wrong .  I've just realised that I haven't done that with mum.  I think that all the God stuff is out the window for me now.  My kind, sweet, lovely mum who's always gone to church and prayed to God has been put through all this.  Guess God's realy showing his love for her...

Sorry, rambled a bit there. It's late and I'm tired and feeling very emotional.