Hi all my husband had prostate cancer . Then 5 weeks ago we hot told he's terminal. Our world has just been turned upside down. He's having chemo and now radiotherapy. Its spread every where ,lungs,liver ,kidney lymph nodes and all way down spine . Apparently it's so aggressive and very rare . Its so hard to get head round it . He's only 56 . So young. I dont sleep ,we are eating good I think that's cause he's eating. I've returned to work. Finding it hard to deal. So decided to partially retire. Staff ie managers keep asking if im doing the right thing I think I am . Its so I can be with him work is hard and I keep breaking down . Then they refer me to oh. Serve anxiety and depression but still ok to work. Im.so scared in how I'm going to cope with out him ,we have a daughter and he has a son with 2 beautiful granddaughters. How do you explain to them . I wake thinking of things ie he won't be able yo give daughter away plus lots of other bit. Some days I'm OK then others I'm crying all the time . Is this happening yo other spouses . Im here during night if fancy chat sue
I'm so sorry about your husband's diagnosis, he is so young and this must be a terrible blow to you both. My husband also has prostate cancer (he's 73) which has spread to his bones, he now has a broken upper arm which requires surgery and causes constant pain. I understand your fear and anxiety, I've been there too, and still am much of the time. This is so hard to live with, the uncertainty and fear of the future. Is it possible for you to take extended leave from your job? It's a big step to retire completely, altho I understand your reasons for wanting to, and there may be a time when having the structuŕe of a job will keep you going. Having said that, caring for someone with cancer is hard work physically and emotionally, and I'm not sure I could manage a job as well. People tell you to take one day at a time, and we do try, but it's only natural to look ahead and then feel overwhelmed. I'm sorry I don't have anything clever or helpful to say, it was more that your post resonated with me and I wanted to tell you yes, we all feel the same way, scared and panicky one day, stronger and more able to cope on other days. Try to find a little bit of time for yourself, to do whatever calms you and gives you a boost. Please look after yourself as well as your husband. Sending you a big hug xx
Thank you for kind words it does help in what you have said cause you are exactly the same as me. I can't afford a career break unfortunately. But going partial retirement is better for me. I will still be working only 2 days instead 4 . So it's not that bad really. It will keep me going .I do have time to chill .I have a allotment which is my go to place to forget things. Plus keep busy. People keep saying they know someone that was told 6 months but was still here after 6 years. . That would be wonderful if that happened, but they can't see that happening. People mean we'll and i know it's hard for friends and family . Its harder for me to try and believe in what They are saying . If that makes sense . I just feel like saying stop pls i can't deal with this.
I hope you husband gets husband arm sorted and doesn't stay in too much pain.
